Thursday, January 21, 2016

Men Never Fail To Disappoint!



     
      As a twenty something young woman I was disappointed in the lack of quality men, but somewhat accepting. As a twenty something I expected men to be immature. I also expected men in their twenties to have a one track mind as in, "sex, sex," and more "sex"! As a thirty something I expected men to be of more substance, and I was again disappointed. Now as a forty something I am no longer disappointed in the lack of quality and substance in men, but appalled. It appears most men are just complete ding dongs that clearly are ruled by their own little ding dongs.

    A man's brain is of no importance when it comes to men and affairs of the heart. I believe a man can be the most intelligent man on the planet and yet it is of no importance when it comes to how a man behaves with women. Furthermore a man's intelligence is of little or no importance when it comes to a man's choice of a partner. I once thought that once men entered adulthood, sex would yes be important to men, but not so important as to make poor decisions in choosing a mate or as to how he behaved with a woman. I was oh so wrong. Apparently most men never grow out of the thinking with their penis mindset, and so yet again I am disappointed in men.

   Recently I went out on a date with a forty something year old divorced man with two children. I was not overly attracted to this man, but thought I'd give him a chance and see if perhaps he would grow on me. Rule number one, "never ever let some one grow on you"! Apparently I myself have not learned as I know only all too well that one does not want a man to grow on her like a fungus. Nonetheless I gave it a shot. Never again will I be so kind as to give a man a chance and see if a spark could possibly appear. Never. I say never as this dodo expected to get laid by the date's end. Seriously? The first date? Seriously, at the age of forty something a man has this mindset? Yes, seriously.

   Date one, sex? Give me a flipping break! While not my style I could somewhat understand if the chemistry between this schmuck and I was just oh so strong that one could almost see fireworks above our heads, but such was not the case. The truth was there were no fireworks. Not a spark, nor a flicker. Nothing, and yet this man asked me if he could come back to my place. While appalled that his man could be so forward, I had to give him credit for being bold. With zero chemistry and my being somewhat distant, and cold this man actually asked if he could go back to my place? Unbelievable! What's even more unbelievable was this man's attitude towards me after I had turned him down. Why this little ding dong did a complete 360 with his personality. He went from flirtatious, fun, and all too handsy, to cold, serious, offish, and rude in a millisecond! It was actually quite, funny and amusing really. It was as if I had hit a switch. This man went from smiley and cutesy to stern and serious. I mean this dodo couldn't even fake his disappointment in his evening not turning out as he had planned. Not since my college days have I had a man actually turn on a dime and act like a little grump because he could not get laid. While as an adult I've had many men attempt to get into my pants, I've never had one, be one, so bold, and two, so rude.  

     Again I am disappointed by the male species, but not without hope that a few good men do still exist. Where they are, I haven't a clue, but I do believe they are out there. I once thought it to be location, but it is a fact that from here to Timbuktu , both men and woman have  difficulty in meeting "the one". While a good lot of men and women may well be fine with accepting mediocrity and having someone, as opposed to no one, I am not one of them. Unlike many of the men today I choose to think with my brain and my heart. My brain knows that if I settle for less I will not be available for the best. I know what I want and it's not a man that expects sex with a virtual stranger on date number one, and that's why I'm still walking away and saying, "I'd rather be single...for now!"
(C)Sean Bianca 2016






Sunday, January 10, 2016

OPTIONS!


    2016, this could be the year! This could well be the year for the man or woman of our dreams to step into our little lives, that is if one is single. As a new year is upon us I for one am quite happy with being single. I am happy as I have the opportunity to meet someone, while if I were unhappily married, or in a less than stellar relationship, I would not have such an opportunity. I for one am quite proud of my single status. I wear my single status on my sleeve with glee, as I am happy, joyous, and free, and I have options!

    I believe options are a wondrous thing, as the world is our oyster. That is the world can be our oyster if the world truly has a sane, somewhat successful, athletic man, with half a brain, a sense of humor, and manners. The jury is still out on whether or not a man such as that exists, but if he does, as a single he is an option. He is our option! 

    Options, we as singles have options. We singles really are quite lucky. Unfortunately we singles do not appreciate how lucky we truly are to be single. I for one know firsthand how fortunate I truly am to be single on this first day of the new year. I only wish I'd known that before marrying my ex-husband as I might never have married my ex. Prior to marrying my ex, I wanted only to be married. I was ignorant . I didn't know that being unhappily married to the wrong one could be hundred times more painful than not being married. I forgot that I had options. The trouble is as a single, it's easy to forget we have options and that we are lucky as the options are few and far between. 

    Far too few options! Isn't that the truth? The trouble is we singles, both men and women have too few options of which to choose from after the age of about thirty-five. I believe it's even fewer for a female than it is for a male. Men do the asking therefore I feel there are a whole lot more high quality women after the age of 35 than men. The truth is most good men, that a woman would be proud to call their husbands are married by the age of thirty-five and certainly by the age of forty. After 40 truly good men that are faithful, successful, compassionate, fun and fit remain married. Unfortunately a woman's options of good men are few and far between after forty as the truth is all of the good ones are taken!

     Now if all of the good men are taken after the age of forty how do we single women have options? We have options as women are far from saints, meaning that some of these good guys have married women not appreciative of their good men. That's right women cheat too! In fact the number of women cheating on their husbands has rapidly increased. As the women's movement has let women be more sexually liberated it has also caused a loss of respect for the sanctity of marriage, and these are the men we single and divorced women need to find, or hope find us! 

     If finding a divorced man who's been used, cheated on, and thrown away like yesterdays paper doesn't transpire, we have other options! We have the widower. The widower I happen to think is a single woman's best option. Why? Simple, this is a man that is not divorced due to his being a cheater, a schmuck, a liar, a gambler, nor is he a man that never matured and gotten married due to being a selfish, self centered, player. The widower may well be a woman's best option if she wants a man capable of being a truly good guy. This is a man that has been married, has been faithful, and has stuck by the same woman through the years. Ladies THIS is our man! The trick is finding him. It shouldn't be too hard as women die every day. Bless their little hearts, and may they rest in peace. As sick and twisted as I may sound, the fact is most widowers detest being alone and most widowers will marry again, which is precisely why I say a widower is quite possibly a woman's best option. How we find him, I'm not quite sure, but time is of the essence as these men do not stay on the single scene for long. That being said perhaps we singles should stalk our local funeral homes as the wives's long lost prep school friend...

    Options, while sparse we singles do have them, the trick is being patient and letting the best option find us. I don't have the answers, but I do know in 2007 I was a very unhappy married woman going through a divorce from a man whom I had "settled" an married. I wasted five years with a man due to my thinking I had no other options, and I was wrong. Ladies and gentlemen it's 2016, and we do have options, few that may be true, but it only takes one good option, just one, and therefore I am not settling and I am still saying, "I'd rather be single...for now!"
(c)Sean Bianca 2016

    
     

Saturday, December 5, 2015

Breaking Up Is Easy To Do!

 Dear John,
     We regret to inform you that your girlfriend__________ is breaking up with you. Although you had a good run and shared some great memories along the way, it's time to move on.
    While you're likely quite shocked and understandably saddened by this news, we know that you'll be back on your feet in no time.
                     Sincerely, 
                              The Break Up Shop
$10. Fee

       Breaking up is no longer hard to do as there's an app for that. Seriously the days of dragging an unwanted relationship out, are now over. No longer must men and women struggle with how and when to break up. No longer must men and women behave horribly thus so their significant other will eventually break up with them as they can not get up the nerve to do so themselves. No longer must one stay in a relationship as to avoid the painful break up process. Nope those days are now behind us thanks to the latest greatest internet site, and phone app, "The Break-Up Shop".

       "The Break-Up Shop" has conveniently come about to aid men and women in their breaking up with their significant others. One is able to choose from a catalog of break ups. For as little as ten dollars, one can have the "Break-Up Shop" terminate a relationship with a simple text, or email like the one above. If one prefers the idea of a letter that will run one $20.. Don't like the idea of a break up via text, email or by letter? Too impersonal? Well, for $29. one can have the "Break-Up Shop" break up with a soon to be ex with a more personal phone call. If having "The Break-Up Shop" just simply break up with a significant other seems too harsh, and if one is willing to not go out on the cheap one can send a bouquet of daisies along with their text, email, or letter. Daisies and a "break-up" will run one about $48..

     Is this how insensitive a society we've become? Are we so weak that we can no longer break up with someone ourselves? Apparently so. While blunt, insensitive, and childish, "The Break-Up Shop" does make breaking up painless and simple. No more heart wrenching good byes. No more begging for another chance. No more break up sex. No more second thoughts. No, once a break up is purchased and executed I am pretty sure the damage is done. The recipient will certainly get the hint that you are no longer into him or her, and that you have absolutely no character, heart, or backbone whatsoever. Breaking up via, "The Break-Up Shop" will conveniently get rid of your latest greatest, and there's more. If one feels guilty they are able to also purchase break-up gifts for their exes to soften the blow. Cookies, Netflix, wine glasses, and more! How thoughtful, along with breaking up with an ex love, one can make the ex even more depressed as they watch The Break-Up Shop's pick of "The Notebook". To add insult to injury the ex can be saddened as they have no one to share their wine with as to use the gift of wine glasses and one can get fat as they gorge themselves on the Break Up Shop's cookies. 

     Text, email, phone call via a third party? Really? Yes really. This is how pathetic a lot we've become. While completely impersonal and so very wrong I think I get it. How many times have we attempted to end a relationship to only be forced to stay in a relationship? How many times have we done the noble act of breaking up in person and felt so awful that we find ourselves still very much involved with the person? While I think using such a resource to break up with someone is cowardly, I think it's rather clever. In fact I wish I'd thought of it myself. As most men I know deplore breaking up, I am quite sure a good majority of the site's clients will be men. Then again I've always been dreadful at break-ups myself, and perhaps The Break-Up Shop's kind words would be far less hurtful than my own. I never have been a woman of words when having fallen out of love, and uttering the words, "I'd rather be single...for now!"
(c)Sean Bianca 2015

http://breakupshop.com/

Thursday, November 5, 2015

Mean Girls!


"I've been a little depressed lately, work is slow, and with no longer dating just anyone and settling, I've found there are no men that I want", said the woman sitting in her work out clothes to her friend. "Well I don't know what it is, but I literally have men falling out of the sky at me", said the blond executive with her newly enlarged cantaloupe sized fake breasts." Seriously? Did this woman really say this to her somewhat down friend? Yes she did. As Jennifer Aniston would say, there's a bit of a sensitivity chip missing there. The depressed friend was "Miss Boobs La Rue's", friend that brought cookies to her during a break up, that surprised her with a bracelet as a pick me up! With friends like that who needs them? Why I think I've had nicer things said by enemies! All in all again my mother is proven right, women are not nice people and women can not be trusted!

      While in my lifetime I have had the good fortune to meet some very good women, they have been far and few between. While I read numerous sayings on women and how they must empower one another and band together, I can not help but think otherwise. I personally have had many women attempt to tear me down, Ive had women exclude me from outings with friends whom I've introduced others to, and I've had women go after my boyfriends. I even had one friend that I trusted to feed my dog and she failed to do so! All in all I have learned most girlfriends are a numb lot. 

    When I was in High School I encountered many mean girls. They were jealous. I was the number one tennis player for the team as a freshman. I was a hot shot, cool as hell, blond, blue eyed , athletic and dating the captain of the cross country team who was tall, black haired and handsome. I was hated, that is until girls actually got to know me. I was actually self conscious, some what shy and dumped by the Captain of the cross country team for not sleeping with him. I was nothing like what the mean girls thought I'd be like. In fact time and time again girls would say, "your'e so nice, I thought you were such a snob!" The fact was the mean girls didn't know me, and those who chose to get to know me were happy they did.

    The truth is, I can be a snob. I admit it, but a mean girl? Never. Never ever would I go after a woman's boyfriend, or husband. Heck, as a teen I wouldn't even date boys that I knew were liked by my friends. All a girl had to do, was say she thought some guy was cute and I thought it meant, "hands off"! Why I'll never know as girls certainly never did the same for me. No I was never a "mean girl". I've always been the "fun girl". When dating, I've attempted to include my girlfriends with my man if able.  When socializing I've always tried to introduce my women friends to one another. If a girlfriend has been in need I've tried to lift them up. All in all, I have been anything, but a "mean girl". Why would I want to be a "mean girl"? Life is too short to be around anyone that is mean, and perhaps that is why so many "mean girls" are single and divorced. If I were a man I know I'd take a look at how a woman treats her friends and I'd walk away and say, "I'd rather be single...for now!
(c)Sean Bianca 2015





     

       

Monday, October 26, 2015

Love Means Nothing Anymore

    "He's well traveled", she said. "He's very successful", she exclaimed. "She's got a fabulous home", he tells his buddies. "She's a wealthy widow", he boasts. She's got a great rack", he brags. "He's got a nice unit", she sings. Those are the various statements made by men and women when speaking of their partners these days. No talk of chemistry and attraction. No talk of the fun that was had on a date. No mention of a man's smile, or laugh, or of a woman's intellect, and wit. Nothing. Today's relationships seem to be more of a business deal and convenience than of true love and romance. In essence, "love means nothing anymore."

      Does love mean nothing? To talk to men and women today sadly it sure seems that way. I the relentless romantic am quite disillusioned with today's lack of genuine love and romance. Romance today has become more of a business arrangement than about true love. Men wanting women for money, and women wanting men for money. Men wanting a trophy wife, women wanting a boy toy. Few men and women come together because they just really like each other. Seriously, in a recent conversation with a woman I heard nothing of how this woman's man made her laugh, or how she found him sexy, and just loved his eyes. I heard of him being a success, and I heard of him being well traveled. At the same time a male friend informed me of the large home his latest flame had acquired in her divorce. I heard nothing of her sense of humor, nothing of her looks, and to be honest I heard nothing of her at all. "Love means nothing anymore."

      I can remember watching movies, the movies of my mother's era as a young girl. Those movies were what I hoped real life would be. Women meeting men and women just being not able to contain themselves as they were so in awe of the men they had met. Likewise the men were so crazy about the women with whom they fell in love, that they demonstrated what a true gentleman was about. Those old movies were of true friendship, passion, love, and romance. Those movies were about what we women hoped to someday have ourselves. Those movies were just that, they were movies, and not about, real life, and true love.


     Real life true love, does it still exist? I believe it does, but I believe it's found and desired by few. The majority of men and women today seem more inclined to get involved with someone who can further their career, or able them to retire, than someone with whom they have an attraction for, and with whom they can fall in love. It's sad when a man or woman's bulging bank account is of more importance than a man or woman's personality, or sense of humor. 

    Love really means nothing anymore, and for that I believe as a society we have lost. While our ancestors had innocent courtships leading to true love, and friendship, we have business transactions and sex. It's no longer about meeting someone, getting to know them better, and falling in love. It's no longer about having a partner with whom one grows old with, but about turning a partner in for something newer and better like an old tv. It's true, love really means nothing anymore. When a women's wallet and a man's being well traveled is of the utmost importance for one in a relationship, love truly means nothing, and for that I am sad. I miss the days of true love and romance. I miss the days in which couples could be observed where their love was visible to all others all around. I believe today's society has lost. While true love may well still exist for some, I believe true love is found by few, far and between. While some may want a man who's a smashing success, or has a hard body, I want what I want, and until I find it, "I'd rather be single...for now!"
Sean Bianca 2105

      
     

Sunday, October 18, 2015

Nothing Left To Say...



Texting, emailing, instant messaging, and Facebook messaging, oh how handy to have so many various avenues in which to communicate, and in which enables all to NOT have to communicate. Really? Is this what society has come to? A society in which people no longer actually speak to one another, but feel as though they are connected by simply sending an email, a text or a message via twitter, facebook or instant messaging.

      While a good majority of the population seems to think the latest and greatest ways of communication are simply sensational, I am not in agreement. With the various ways of communication, a good many men and women have lost the ability to have an actual conversation with another human being. Not only have people forgotten how to speak to one another, but they have nothing to say. People have nothing to say as chances are they have already texted, emailed or instant messaged all that is going on in their lives. When people do finally get together, well, there's nothing left to say.

   Sadly conversation is becoming a lost art. Recently I came across a news report on the fact that texting, and messaging was destroying people's abilities to communicate. The reporter commented on over hearing a conversation in which a person did not laugh, but used the word or letters, "LOL", in which to convey his laughter. OH MY GOD! Is this what the youth is coming to? "LOL"? I apologize, but what a moron! Then again I suppose it isn't the moron's fault, but the fact that the youth of today relies on it's smart phones, to do everything, but think for them. 

    As smart phones can not yet think for another human beings, I see the problem with men and women and relationships today. People no longer can think of what to say when they do get into the same room with the person with whom they are dining or having a cup of coffee, or with whom they are meeting. It is for this very reason that I have stopped having actual conversations with another human being via text or email. If the person lives in another state, they or I can simply pick up the phone and speak to one another. I hate texting. Texting should be in my opinion used for nothing more than quick changes of plans or quickie lunch or dinner plans, but NOT conversing! I need not get together with someone if I've just had a conversation via text or email, do I? Perhaps the over use of texting and messaging is the cause for so many couples dining in restuarants , doing nothing but staring at one another, or wait, couples with their noses in their smart phones. Why? There's nothing left to say when you've already texted and messaged the other person adnaseum.

    "Nothing left to say"? Not I! I will never be without anything to say as I have always been and always will be a talker. Upon a recent phone conversation with a friend in which we were making plans to dine I told her I didn't want to talk as I couldn't wait to see her and if we chatted at length on the phone, there'd be nothing left to say. Upon that dinner lots was said, and laughs were had, and I thought to myself, how lucky am we to be able to talk and actually carry on an actual live conversation?

     The gift of gab is definitely me, but sadly the gift of gab is today an unused gift. I guess I happen to be of the opinion that much is lost in a text or a message. How many relationships between couples and friends have been destroyed due to a misunderstood text? A text can't convey emotion. A text can not convey a tone of voice, a smile or a tear. Perhaps it's just me, but I have quite tired of today's modern ways of communication.

   Funny enough, recently I received a text from a man, and I had to laugh. This man clearly wanted a half hour OR MORE conversation via text. While flattering that this man wanted to converse I would have been more inclined to show interest if the man had texted to set up coffee, lunch or dinner and followed up with a call. I am not in desperation for wasting time with texting lengthy conversations. Not only that but if I had texted with this man and we did get together, there would have been nothing left to say. I'm a talker and always will be a talker, and I am simply done with people who have lost the ability to converse, and if a man can't make the effort to actually talk to me, well, "I'd rather be single...for now!"
(c)Sean Bianca 2015

Wednesday, September 30, 2015

Fairytales Do Come True!


          As a young girl I like many young girls believed in fairy tales. I rather liked the whole idea of Prince charming riding up on his white horse, sweeping me up, and taking me away to live happily ever after, for ever and ever. As foolish as it sounds, as a little girl I only knew of fairy tales, and  dreams coming true. I had aspirations that someday my prince would come. Looking back, I was a care free, happy, innocent, naive little girl that believed in fairy tales, and I wonder if that was wrong. Then again I don't really know if believing in fairy tales was a bad thing, as I was gleeful, and full of hope. As ignorance is indeed bliss, I was eager, and hopeful to someday find my one true love, as I just "knew" it would happen some how, some way.

        Well, as a teen, and a twenty something, I like every one else broke a few hearts, and had mine broken as well. I ultimately discovered that real life was not at all like a fairy tale, but a nightmare instead. So desiring that fairy tale, at the age of thirty five I settled, and got married. I met my now ex-husband, and within three months, I was engaged, how happy was I? Six months later, I walked down the aisle to my demise. While the quickness, and courtship was that of a fairy tale, the relationship was not. Four years later I divorced, and found out yet again that fairy tales did not come true. 

        Fairy tales, oh how I and so many women still love a good fairy tale. Unfortunately, I and many of my friends have not experienced finding true love, and living life as a fairy tale. Many of my friends have gone through horrific divorces, break ups, and utter chaos, leaving them to lose hope in ever finding true love and romance. I must admit knowing so few gloriously happy couples has even gotten to me as well. While I am happier single, than with just any Joe Blow, I like anyone else wonders, will there ever be a "Mr. Right"? Not only that, but will there ever be a man that "gets" me, and who I "get" as well? As time passes it does leave one to lose the hope of ever finding that fairy tale, and happily ever after.

    Wrong am I, and anyone else to think that the real thing no longer exists, as I know now that fairy tales do come true. How else can one explain the true love story of a young, beautiful, single mother struggling to make ends meet, and a somewhat older, handsome, and sophisticated, wealthy businessman? Their romance was, no doubt a true, modern fairy tale romance.

   It's funny really. Just when we begin to lose our dreams, and lose hope, someone comes along to let us know that we are wrong. I truly have wondered if anyone really ever fell in love anymore. Well they do. A few years back there once was a woman by the name of Olivia. Olivia was young, beautiful, sexy, stylish, and single. Not only was she single, but she was a divorced mother living paycheck to paycheck and having difficulty making ends meet. While Olivia was happy enough as a hard working mother, she had no idea how one man would change her life forever. Not only would this young mother's life change, but she would prove the masses wrong, that fairy tales do come true.

     It all began with a blind date. Olivia had a girl friend that had planned to set her up with an attractive, older businessman. This man was tall, good looking, had an upper crust English accent, dressed to the nines, and was some ten years older than Ms. Olivia. Ten years older was a little old for this young woman, but those ten years were worn well, and after one date this man's being ten years older were soon to be forgotten. While blind dates can be quite painful, this blind date was anything, but painful. Olivia was picked up for her blind date by this distinguished gentleman in a hot little Porsche, showing little Ms. Olivia that while he was older, he had a need for speed and was full of fun. And so off they went, on what was to be Olivia's best first date ever. 

   Their first date was to be at a restaurant Ms. Olivia had looked at from afar and dreamt she'd someday be so lucky to dine. As this young woman with a young one sat down, tears welled up in her eyes as she could not quite believe how lucky she was to be sitting in this very restaurant. Not only was she lucky to be at this particular restaurant, but she couldn't believe how lucky she was to be with such a charming and handsome man. To this young woman she was dining with James Bond, and what woman wouldn't feel lucky to be dining with James Bond? As Olivia sat there, she was somewhat nervous, and intimidated until her "Bond" placed his dinner order. "Bond ordered, chips as she liked to call them, or french fries. Olivia grinned as french fries were what she would cook for both she and her son. Home cooked chips were Olivia's way of dining on a budget. They were cheap, filling and tasty. Chips were a favorite of Ms. Olivia's, and apparently a favorite of "Bond's" as well. 

     Well, that first date ended with a peck on the cheek, but the rest is history. Four years after their first meeting, Olivia, and her "Bond" married, and lived happily ever after. Olivia found her Prince Charming, and her "Bond" found his Princess. Rarely have I seen a couple so in love as they. In observance one can see that each is as in love with the other, as they are them. It's refreshing really. So few couples today are with one another just because they love one another. Money, status, convenience, and desperation are more often than not, the reasons for couples today. I've seen this couple, and they have what we all should want, expect, and deserve from a relationship. They have a friendship and chemistry that's visible to all. They have the fairy tale, and prove that fairy tales do come true. I want what they have, and until I find it, "I'd rather be single...for now!
(c)Sean Bianca 2015