Thursday, November 5, 2015

Mean Girls!

"I've been a little depressed lately, work is slow, and with no longer dating just anyone and settling, I've found there are no men that I want", said the woman sitting in her work out clothes to her friend. "Well I don't know what it is, but I literally have men falling out of the sky at me", said the blond executive with her newly enlarged cantaloupe sized fake breasts." Seriously? Did this woman really say this to her somewhat down friend? Yes she did. As Jennifer Aniston would say, there's a bit of a sensitivity chip missing there. The depressed friend was "Miss Boobs La Rue's", friend that brought cookies to her during a break up, that surprised her with a bracelet as a pick me up! With friends like that who needs them? Why I think I've had nicer things said by enemies! All in all again my mother is proven right, women are not nice people and women can not be trusted!

      While in my lifetime I have had the good fortune to meet some very good women, they have been far and few between. While I read numerous sayings on women and how they must empower one another and band together, I can not help but think otherwise. I personally have had many women attempt to tear me down, Ive had women exclude me from outings with friends whom I've introduced others to, and I've had women go after my boyfriends. I even had one friend that I trusted to feed my dog and she failed to do so! All in all I have learned most girlfriends are a numb lot. 

    When I was in High School I encountered many mean girls. They were jealous. I was the number one tennis player for the team as a freshman. I was a hot shot, cool as hell, blond, blue eyed , athletic and dating the captain of the cross country team who was tall, black haired and handsome. I was hated, that is until girls actually got to know me. I was actually self conscious, some what shy and dumped by the Captain of the cross country team for not sleeping with him. I was nothing like what the mean girls thought I'd be like. In fact time and time again girls would say, "your'e so nice, I thought you were such a snob!" The fact was the mean girls didn't know me, and those who chose to get to know me were happy they did.

    The truth is, I can be a snob. I admit it, but a mean girl? Never. Never ever would I go after a woman's boyfriend, or husband. Heck, as a teen I wouldn't even date boys that I knew were liked by my friends. All a girl had to do, was say she thought some guy was cute and I thought it meant, "hands off"! Why I'll never know as girls certainly never did the same for me. No I was never a "mean girl". I've always been the "fun girl". When dating, I've attempted to include my girlfriends with my man if able.  When socializing I've always tried to introduce my women friends to one another. If a girlfriend has been in need I've tried to lift them up. All in all, I have been anything, but a "mean girl". Why would I want to be a "mean girl"? Life is too short to be around anyone that is mean, and perhaps that is why so many "mean girls" are single and divorced. If I were a man I know I'd take a look at how a woman treats her friends and I'd walk away and say, "I'd rather be single...for now!
(c)Sean Bianca 2015



Monday, October 26, 2015

Love Means Nothing Anymore

    "He's well traveled", she said. "He's very successful", she exclaimed. "She's got a fabulous home", he tells his buddies. "She's a wealthy widow", he boasts. She's got a great rack", he brags. "He's got a nice unit", she sings. Those are the various statements made by men and women when speaking of their partners these days. No talk of chemistry and attraction. No talk of the fun that was had on a date. No mention of a man's smile, or laugh, or of a woman's intellect, and wit. Nothing. Today's relationships seem to be more of a business deal and convenience than of true love and romance. In essence, "love means nothing anymore."

      Does love mean nothing? To talk to men and women today sadly it sure seems that way. I the relentless romantic am quite disillusioned with today's lack of genuine love and romance. Romance today has become more of a business arrangement than about true love. Men wanting women for money, and women wanting men for money. Men wanting a trophy wife, women wanting a boy toy. Few men and women come together because they just really like each other. Seriously, in a recent conversation with a woman I heard nothing of how this woman's man made her laugh, or how she found him sexy, and just loved his eyes. I heard of him being a success, and I heard of him being well traveled. At the same time a male friend informed me of the large home his latest flame had acquired in her divorce. I heard nothing of her sense of humor, nothing of her looks, and to be honest I heard nothing of her at all. "Love means nothing anymore."

      I can remember watching movies, the movies of my mother's era as a young girl. Those movies were what I hoped real life would be. Women meeting men and women just being not able to contain themselves as they were so in awe of the men they had met. Likewise the men were so crazy about the women with whom they fell in love, that they demonstrated what a true gentleman was about. Those old movies were of true friendship, passion, love, and romance. Those movies were about what we women hoped to someday have ourselves. Those movies were just that, they were movies, and not about, real life, and true love.

     Real life true love, does it still exist? I believe it does, but I believe it's found and desired by few. The majority of men and women today seem more inclined to get involved with someone who can further their career, or able them to retire, than someone with whom they have an attraction for, and with whom they can fall in love. It's sad when a man or woman's bulging bank account is of more importance than a man or woman's personality, or sense of humor. 

    Love really means nothing anymore, and for that I believe as a society we have lost. While our ancestors had innocent courtships leading to true love, and friendship, we have business transactions and sex. It's no longer about meeting someone, getting to know them better, and falling in love. It's no longer about having a partner with whom one grows old with, but about turning a partner in for something newer and better like an old tv. It's true, love really means nothing anymore. When a women's wallet and a man's being well traveled is of the utmost importance for one in a relationship, love truly means nothing, and for that I am sad. I miss the days of true love and romance. I miss the days in which couples could be observed where their love was visible to all others all around. I believe today's society has lost. While true love may well still exist for some, I believe true love is found by few, far and between. While some may want a man who's a smashing success, or has a hard body, I want what I want, and until I find it, "I'd rather be single...for now!"
Sean Bianca 2105


Sunday, October 18, 2015

Nothing Left To Say...

Texting, emailing, instant messaging, and Facebook messaging, oh how handy to have so many various avenues in which to communicate, and in which enables all to NOT have to communicate. Really? Is this what society has come to? A society in which people no longer actually speak to one another, but feel as though they are connected by simply sending an email, a text or a message via twitter, facebook or instant messaging.

      While a good majority of the population seems to think the latest and greatest ways of communication are simply sensational, I am not in agreement. With the various ways of communication, a good many men and women have lost the ability to have an actual conversation with another human being. Not only have people forgotten how to speak to one another, but they have nothing to say. People have nothing to say as chances are they have already texted, emailed or instant messaged all that is going on in their lives. When people do finally get together, well, there's nothing left to say.

   Sadly conversation is becoming a lost art. Recently I came across a news report on the fact that texting, and messaging was destroying people's abilities to communicate. The reporter commented on over hearing a conversation in which a person did not laugh, but used the word or letters, "LOL", in which to convey his laughter. OH MY GOD! Is this what the youth is coming to? "LOL"? I apologize, but what a moron! Then again I suppose it isn't the moron's fault, but the fact that the youth of today relies on it's smart phones, to do everything, but think for them. 

    As smart phones can not yet think for another human beings, I see the problem with men and women and relationships today. People no longer can think of what to say when they do get into the same room with the person with whom they are dining or having a cup of coffee, or with whom they are meeting. It is for this very reason that I have stopped having actual conversations with another human being via text or email. If the person lives in another state, they or I can simply pick up the phone and speak to one another. I hate texting. Texting should be in my opinion used for nothing more than quick changes of plans or quickie lunch or dinner plans, but NOT conversing! I need not get together with someone if I've just had a conversation via text or email, do I? Perhaps the over use of texting and messaging is the cause for so many couples dining in restuarants , doing nothing but staring at one another, or wait, couples with their noses in their smart phones. Why? There's nothing left to say when you've already texted and messaged the other person adnaseum.

    "Nothing left to say"? Not I! I will never be without anything to say as I have always been and always will be a talker. Upon a recent phone conversation with a friend in which we were making plans to dine I told her I didn't want to talk as I couldn't wait to see her and if we chatted at length on the phone, there'd be nothing left to say. Upon that dinner lots was said, and laughs were had, and I thought to myself, how lucky am we to be able to talk and actually carry on an actual live conversation?

     The gift of gab is definitely me, but sadly the gift of gab is today an unused gift. I guess I happen to be of the opinion that much is lost in a text or a message. How many relationships between couples and friends have been destroyed due to a misunderstood text? A text can't convey emotion. A text can not convey a tone of voice, a smile or a tear. Perhaps it's just me, but I have quite tired of today's modern ways of communication.

   Funny enough, recently I received a text from a man, and I had to laugh. This man clearly wanted a half hour OR MORE conversation via text. While flattering that this man wanted to converse I would have been more inclined to show interest if the man had texted to set up coffee, lunch or dinner and followed up with a call. I am not in desperation for wasting time with texting lengthy conversations. Not only that but if I had texted with this man and we did get together, there would have been nothing left to say. I'm a talker and always will be a talker, and I am simply done with people who have lost the ability to converse, and if a man can't make the effort to actually talk to me, well, "I'd rather be single...for now!"
(c)Sean Bianca 2015

Wednesday, September 30, 2015

Fairytales Do Come True!

          As a young girl I like many young girls believed in fairy tales. I rather liked the whole idea of Prince charming riding up on his white horse, sweeping me up, and taking me away to live happily ever after, for ever and ever. As foolish as it sounds, as a little girl I only knew of fairy tales, and  dreams coming true. I had aspirations that someday my prince would come. Looking back, I was a care free, happy, innocent, naive little girl that believed in fairy tales, and I wonder if that was wrong. Then again I don't really know if believing in fairy tales was a bad thing, as I was gleeful, and full of hope. As ignorance is indeed bliss, I was eager, and hopeful to someday find my one true love, as I just "knew" it would happen some how, some way.

        Well, as a teen, and a twenty something, I like every one else broke a few hearts, and had mine broken as well. I ultimately discovered that real life was not at all like a fairy tale, but a nightmare instead. So desiring that fairy tale, at the age of thirty five I settled, and got married. I met my now ex-husband, and within three months, I was engaged, how happy was I? Six months later, I walked down the aisle to my demise. While the quickness, and courtship was that of a fairy tale, the relationship was not. Four years later I divorced, and found out yet again that fairy tales did not come true. 

        Fairy tales, oh how I and so many women still love a good fairy tale. Unfortunately, I and many of my friends have not experienced finding true love, and living life as a fairy tale. Many of my friends have gone through horrific divorces, break ups, and utter chaos, leaving them to lose hope in ever finding true love and romance. I must admit knowing so few gloriously happy couples has even gotten to me as well. While I am happier single, than with just any Joe Blow, I like anyone else wonders, will there ever be a "Mr. Right"? Not only that, but will there ever be a man that "gets" me, and who I "get" as well? As time passes it does leave one to lose the hope of ever finding that fairy tale, and happily ever after.

    Wrong am I, and anyone else to think that the real thing no longer exists, as I know now that fairy tales do come true. How else can one explain the true love story of a young, beautiful, single mother struggling to make ends meet, and a somewhat older, handsome, and sophisticated, wealthy businessman? Their romance was, no doubt a true, modern fairy tale romance.

   It's funny really. Just when we begin to lose our dreams, and lose hope, someone comes along to let us know that we are wrong. I truly have wondered if anyone really ever fell in love anymore. Well they do. A few years back there once was a woman by the name of Olivia. Olivia was young, beautiful, sexy, stylish, and single. Not only was she single, but she was a divorced mother living paycheck to paycheck and having difficulty making ends meet. While Olivia was happy enough as a hard working mother, she had no idea how one man would change her life forever. Not only would this young mother's life change, but she would prove the masses wrong, that fairy tales do come true.

     It all began with a blind date. Olivia had a girl friend that had planned to set her up with an attractive, older businessman. This man was tall, good looking, had an upper crust English accent, dressed to the nines, and was some ten years older than Ms. Olivia. Ten years older was a little old for this young woman, but those ten years were worn well, and after one date this man's being ten years older were soon to be forgotten. While blind dates can be quite painful, this blind date was anything, but painful. Olivia was picked up for her blind date by this distinguished gentleman in a hot little Porsche, showing little Ms. Olivia that while he was older, he had a need for speed and was full of fun. And so off they went, on what was to be Olivia's best first date ever. 

   Their first date was to be at a restaurant Ms. Olivia had looked at from afar and dreamt she'd someday be so lucky to dine. As this young woman with a young one sat down, tears welled up in her eyes as she could not quite believe how lucky she was to be sitting in this very restaurant. Not only was she lucky to be at this particular restaurant, but she couldn't believe how lucky she was to be with such a charming and handsome man. To this young woman she was dining with James Bond, and what woman wouldn't feel lucky to be dining with James Bond? As Olivia sat there, she was somewhat nervous, and intimidated until her "Bond" placed his dinner order. "Bond ordered, chips as she liked to call them, or french fries. Olivia grinned as french fries were what she would cook for both she and her son. Home cooked chips were Olivia's way of dining on a budget. They were cheap, filling and tasty. Chips were a favorite of Ms. Olivia's, and apparently a favorite of "Bond's" as well. 

     Well, that first date ended with a peck on the cheek, but the rest is history. Four years after their first meeting, Olivia, and her "Bond" married, and lived happily ever after. Olivia found her Prince Charming, and her "Bond" found his Princess. Rarely have I seen a couple so in love as they. In observance one can see that each is as in love with the other, as they are them. It's refreshing really. So few couples today are with one another just because they love one another. Money, status, convenience, and desperation are more often than not, the reasons for couples today. I've seen this couple, and they have what we all should want, expect, and deserve from a relationship. They have a friendship and chemistry that's visible to all. They have the fairy tale, and prove that fairy tales do come true. I want what they have, and until I find it, "I'd rather be single...for now!
(c)Sean Bianca 2015


Tuesday, September 29, 2015

Why Oh Why Did I Go Out?


     As a married woman or as a person in a relationship, rarely did I ever go out because I thought I should. Never! I went out because I wanted to go out. I actually was in the mood to put on my heels, and a dress, and I actually wanted to mingle. Never did I ever say, "it's Friday or Saturday, I should be out". Not only that, but when in a relationship, never did I go to a specific restaurant, because it was the scene to be seen, never! Why then as a "single" do we go out because we should, or go to places we don't really enjoy to be out on the scene and seen?    

      As much as I hate to admit it, I have in fact gone out when I really wasn't in the mood, and gone to places I didn't really like. Pretty stupid really. I can't begin to count the number of times I have gone out on the town so that I would be out, and after being out, regretted being out. Seriously. Not only have I been out numerous times I would have preferred to stay in, but I have dined at restaurants, I really didn't care to dine. I have spent a small fortune on food in places of which I was not a fan, to be in a place where everyone went deemed as the local favorite. Pretty insane if one really thinks about it. I have eaten sushi when I wasn't in the mood to be at a popular Happy Hour, that never really ever is a truly "happy hour". No I have found the popular happy hours are great for mingling singles falling off bar stools and solving all the world's problems. Oh what a time one can have with these geniuses! 

       Unfortunately I all too often am uttering the words, "why, oh why did I go out?" Why do I and so many singles do this? Simple. We don't want to be single forever, and we think that by doing what we truly want to do, we may never meet anyone. While Mr. or Ms. Right will not come walking up to our doorstep, they just might be in our daily travels. Unfortunately, we think that we must go out, and we must go to hot spots whether we want to or not, and the result? Disappointment. Maybe it's just me, but it's as if I assume I am going to meet my Prince Charming because I am dressed up, and because I am at an "in" place. Instead of enjoying the food at a place I love, enjoying the conversation with friends, and being out when I truly want to be out, I am left depressed and disappointed when I go out to be out. Disappointed due to the scene to be seen is usually just the same faces, and same meaningless conversation. Depressed in that I've spent money on food I really didn't like, had calories I rather have not had and been out when I really would rather have been in with my dogs, and why? 

       One evening after being out and about all done up at a local hot spot with a friend I had to laugh. Actually not only did I laugh, but my friend did as well. We laughed, because we wasted time getting glammed up, going to a scene to be seen all for not. We admitted that we would have had more fun, and more time together had we just gone to some casual venue and hung out and caught up. Not only that but who knows we might have even met "Mr. Right", as let it be said that love usually finds us when we're not looking.

        "Why oh why did I go out?" Not anymore. Life is short, and too short to be doing things I don't want to do. While I know my Prince Charming will not show up ringing my doorbell, I know if I have one he'll find me. We don't have to go out if we don't want to, we have other options. Mr. Right can be on the golf course, tennis courts, super market, or local deli. I once had a man pick me up on the highway! One does not have to frequent places they don't like ,or go out when they'd rather be in, because they are single. I have a full life and a life, I want to live the way I want to live. I have dogs, family, friends and activities I enjoy, and little time. Too little time to be tromping around in heels chatting with some dodo when I'd rather be in on the couch with my dogs, walking on the beach, or out playing golf. Maybe I'm wrong, but I am done with saying "why oh why did I go out?" I will go where I want to go when I want to, and just maybe I will meet the one that will stop me from saying, "I'd rather be single...for now!"
(c)Sean Bianca 2015

Thursday, September 24, 2015

Just One!

Just one, that's all it takes. All we singles need is just "one" good guy or girl, to come into our lives, not an army of men and women, just, "one". I guess it hit me upon telling someone that there weren't many good men around. The woman said to me, "well you don't need to meet an abundance of men you just need to meet one man!" She was right. Sure I can and have met a lot of men, but and that's a big BUT, I haven't met many men who I'd care to get to know better, and I know I am not alone in my sentiments. 

     It's easy to meet the opposite sex, what's not easy is to find one that one is TRULY attracted to. I've often found the shows "The Bachelor", and "Bachelorette" laughable as it's just NOT realistic. The show has the "picker" choose 10 people out of 30 contestants whom they would like to get to know better. I believe the show narrows it down to three contestants. Well the truth is no matter how good looking thirty people are, one is just not going to be attracted to even five of them. At best the Bachelor or Bachelorette will be attracted to possibly two or three from the get go. Chemistry is just not something one has with everyone and it has nothing to do with looks. Not only does chemistry come into the equation, but common interests, class, religion, politics, and a person's sense of humor come into play as well. Like does the person even have a sense of humor? All of those things make or break whether we do or do not want to get to know a person better. I've met some great looking guys, but after they opened their mouths their looks lost their luster. Likewise I've had great conversation with good looking men that have nearly put me to sleep. I've also met attractive, intelligent men with whom I've rather enjoyed the conversation, but the chemistry just was not there, or the laughs were few and far between. Yes, it's easy to meet people that have one or two qualities that we may desire, but it's not easy to meet a lot of people with whom we enjoy their company and with whom we have chemistry, but we don't need to meet ALOT, we need to meet just "one".

     Just "one", that's all it takes. The trouble is meeting that "one" is literally like finding a needle in a haystack, which is precisely why people settle. People get tired of being alone and therefore they settle for second best or worse, the bottom of the barrel. I admit I have dated one or two men that looked great but when they opened their mouths I just wanted to put a sock in it. Yes I have dated a dodo or two. Here's a tip if you're with someone who is incapable of having a conversation, it's time to move on from eye candy. On the flip side if you're with someone that can't keep their mouth shut and bores you to tears it's also time to move on. The truth is it's not easy to flow into enjoyable conversation with someone, its downright difficult and sometimes painful but when you do it's worth exploring.

     Just "one" that's all we singles really need, and if one is selective and not accepting of just any Joe Blow, or Suzie Q. that comes along that just "one" will not come easily. If that "one" did come easily that "one" wouldn't be so special now would they? While no one can find everything they want in a partner I do believe we can all find almost everything we want in a partner. While yes, its hard to find several great eligible men an women, we don;t need several. All we need is just one and until that "one" finds me, "I'd rather be single...for now!"

(c)Sean Bianca 2015

Thursday, September 17, 2015

Is True Love Lost?


    True love, is it lost? I once thought anyone and everyone would find true love. If one didn't search for true love, I just knew that it would find them. Being a romantic, I guess I just assumed that all who had a desire for true love would indeed obtain a long lasting true love. I fear that my optimism and thoughts were wrong. Why I'm not quite sure. While being "in love" seems to come with ease, long lasting "true love" seems to escape many of us. I for one admit that I have many times been "in love", but I do not think I've ever experienced "true love".

     While I myself have never truly ever loved anyone, I was lucky enough to know two people who did. Those two people were my grandparents, or "Mom and Poppa" as I referred to them. My grandmother worshiped the ground my grandfather walked on as he did her. They had a marriage that lasted a lifetime, sadly something rarely seen today. The words "till death do us part" rang true in their marriage, and at the age of 69 my grandmother passed on leaving my grandfather to live the remainder of his life alone. As poetry was somewhat of a passion for my grandfather he wrote the following poem for his one true love;

 "I'll tell you that beautiful story I've told you so many times before. I love you with all my heart. How could I love you more? You're always in my dreams. You're with me all the time. I'm yours, and you're all mine. I remember so many things you and I used to do. We'll always be together just me and you. Yes we'll always be together forever and ever and ever and that's a long time Forever and ever and ever I'm yours and you're all mine."
Love Always, Your Millard

       Beautiful words for a beautiful woman. My grandfather had the poem engraved on the tombstone of his wife.  As I recently came across the poem I got somewhat teary eyed. How lucky were my grand parents to have experienced long lasting, "true love"? Never have I had a man write a poem for me, and for that matter I don't think many women have had poems written for them, and perhaps that's just it. No one writes love poems anymore as no one feels the stuff that love poems are made of anymore. Why? Why doesn't the stuff of love poems exist anymore? Is true love forever lost, or is true love only for a chosen few and why?

     True love may well be lost as I feel people have lost their way in the name of love. In today's modern world people no longer meet like normal people, and if they do they seem to not be able to behave like mature adults. Today people depend on online dating,and social media sites for their love lives to be fulfilled, and not fate, real life, and chemistry. While these modern resources may help some, I have doubts on their being successful. I'm sorry, but men and women who barely know one another hooking up after just meeting for coffee via Tinder, or match is NOT the way to true love. 

        What is the way to true love? Well if I knew I'd be writing on Sean's sure fire way on how to find true love. Unfortunately such is not the case. I guess you could say I do know how NOT to find true love, as I am quite the expert. Yes I know, as I always have that one will NOT meet their "one" in a bar or at a club. I also know that one can not let a partner "grow" on them like fungus as to make them the "one". It doesn't work. What also doesn't work is online dating. It may have long ago, but at present it's an abundance of desperate men and women looking for hook ups, money, or both. 

         Is true love forever lost? I certainly hope not, but I fear it may well be. Men and women today are in a time where real life is no longer being lived. There once was a time where a boy met a girl, eye contact was made, chemistry was felt, flirtation occurred, and the rest was history. Couples actually became friends prior to jumping into bed. Couples actually loved one another prior to jumping into bed with one another. Couples had fun and wanted to be together, and those were the couples that had found true love. Today's couples consist of hooking up and dining with their cell phones due to their not having the capability to communicate with their so called loved ones. Quite frankly the observation of today's couples is painful and pathetic to watch. 

       True love may in deed be lost. As people today seem more interested in hooking up, being seen, and being on the scene than actually meeting someone of worth who might well be that best friend with chemistry. If I had to guess most of the adults today in relationships are not truly over the moon in love with their partners. How do I know this? Simple. Go to a restaurant and what do you see? Men and women with their noses in their cell phones barely talking with one another. I guess I could be wrong but if I'm truly into the man I am with I can assure you that I will not be on my cell phone. in my opinion cell phones may be the distraction for the fact that people are not truly in love with their partners, and yes I too have been there, and I'm done.

     A best friend with chemistry was what I wanted as a teenager and what I still want. I guess I always wanted "true love", just as my grandmother and grandfather had found. True love can't be faked. and it can't be forced, I've tried. True love also can't be bought. True love just happens as and when it's meant to happen. I think deep down we all want that one true love as my grandmother and grandfather were so lucky to have found. Unfortunately in a society where everything is at our fingertips, I believe we all get impatient and settle for second best. I for one, no longer care to accept second best. I want only the best, and if I am not fortunate enough to find it, I'd rather be single...for now!
(c)Sean Bianca 2015