I know I personally now look back and am quite certain that I was out of my mind during several relationships. While I might like to blame my poor choices on my being drunk I am afraid I can not. Thankfully I have never hit the bottle on a daily basis and therefore I can not say that I was hammered through a relationship's entirety. Then again while being courted I did enjoy a cocktail or two, and I am convinced that those cocktails were my demise. The truth is had it not been for a drink here and there with dinner, I might never have gotten involved with some of the men whom I dated. For that matter had it not been for a glass or two of bubbly I might never have married my ex husband. Let it be said that until one spends time with another without being even the slightest bit buzzed one should not get involved with another.
I was seventeen years old when I met a guy whom I thought to be a very cute football player from the University Of Miami. It was a Frat party in the dark, and it was a keg party.Being that I never was very fond of beer, I had only one full cup of beer, as to have a slight buzz. I went home with hopes that this guy might be interested in me. Well, the next day I did see this footballer whom I was so taken with the night before, and it was daylight. Not only was it the bright of day but I did not have the sensation I had had the night before from a solo cup of beer. Clearly the darkness and the slight buzz had turned this guy into something he was not. As far as I was concerned this person was an impostor. Well, put on those infamous beer goggles, and even the homeliest can look pretty fine. I should have learned early on to never drink alcohol when single. Clearly when under the influence one is without the capacity to determine whether a person is attractive, let alone decide if a person is someone with whom one would like to get to know better.
While I wish I could say that I was downright polluted while my ex husband was courting me, I was not. However did I enjoy a drink or two when we went out? Yes, and had I never had a glass of my favorite champagne with my now ex hubby I might not ever have gotten involved with him. The same can be said for an ex boyfriend or two. The truth is alcohol does makes even the plainest person dynamic. Even if one has only one drink while with another their ability to judge another is completely gone. A person who might not appeal to us in the least bit while sober suddenly becomes the hottest, funniest, and most intelligent person we've ever met! While we may not be drunk every minute we are with a significant other, we do get used to the significant other whom we became attracted to after having a drink or two. What happens is the person grows on us like a fungus. The end result is we wrongly think we are in love with someone with whom we are not. Thanks to alcohol many of us end up dating and or marrying people whom we might never have, had it not been for alcohol.
I am convinced that one should only get involved with someone whom they have met and spent time with sober. I want a significant other whom I'm crazy about without a drink. I want a partner who I can communicate and laugh with, without being buzzed. Unfortunately in dating our dates all consist of a bottle of wine, or cocktails than dinner. Therefore at the most important time of getting to know someone, we are not really getting to know someone. Think of the time that is wasted on people whom we might never have gotten involved with had it not been for alcohol. Couples should drink after they've gotten to know one another, not before. It's the couples that feel comfortable with one another and have fun with one another without being tipsy that have the real thing. I for one don;t want a man to grow on me like a fungus. I personally would rather be attracted to someone at first sight. I also would rather have someone with whom I do not need to loosen up with a glass of chablis in order to enjoy the evening. I think couples should get to know one another before having cocktails. If a couple is truly crazy about one another after a month, then if one so chooses, celebrate with a glass of Dom or Vueve. I know for myself, I want a man who turns me on, and makes me laugh, without the aid of being somewhat intoxicated, and until I find him, "I'd rather be single...for now!"
(c)Sean Bianca 2015