Sunday, July 20, 2014

Sex Or Stability?

    Sex or stability? What do men and woman really want after thirty? I and most, would like to have it all. Unfortunately the general consensus is that having both great sex and stability is an impossible combination. Is it really? Is great sex and stability an impossibility or are many of us just settling for one or the other as we're too impatient to wait for that man or woman with whom we have great chemistry AND friendship, and someone on whom we can depend?

    As per a recent conversation I was informed that great sex AND stability were NOT possible. The combination of outstanding chemistry and reliability appear to be nothing more than a fantasy for most. Many women attribute great sex, with a bad boy. Likewise, most men attribute great sex with a bad girl. Is it true that great sex can only be had with the bad boy? Is it fact that a man may only have great sex with a bad girl?

   Many women seem to have this hope that a James Dean type will come into our lives and take us to places never been. Women like to fantasize that this bad boy will drive up in his sports car, or motorcycle, attack us like there's no tomorrow, and take us away. As stupid as it may sound, it's true. All women, or most want a "bad boy" that will take us by surprise while he grabs us somewhat forcefully, and brings us in closely making our hearts beat out of our chests. All this, while  of course pulling our hair and kissing us passionately. Who ever said, "a kiss is just a kiss", I assure you had never been truly kissed! 

   As many women have a dream for that of James Dean, many men have a dream for Marilyn Monroe, or Angelina Jolie. A good lot of men find themselves continuously pursuing the "bad girl" with whom they may have raw, rough and tough sex and not make "love". These men seem to get off on the "bad girl", in her six inch stilletos, plump lips, and tight fitting dresses.The "bad girl" is the girl men want for errotic sex, but not the girl whom they wish to marry or whom with they will settle down.

     Sex or stability? Must we make a choice? Many would say yes, I say not. I do believe the bad boy that may well offer us excitement and crazy chemistry will not be the man whom will stick by us in old age. I also the believe the big lipped, bad girl oozing sex appeal will not likely be the woman that will be by a man's bedside, when he is in poor health. While seeing that these bad girls and boys are not stellar choices for a lifelong partner, I also am of the opinion that we must not settle for not stability without good or great sex either! 

    Sex or stability? Must we choose? I say not. While men may gravitate towards the buxom, blond bimbos for great sex, is she a man's only chance for great sex? At the same time, is the tall dark brooding bad boy,  a woman's only hope for having the earth move? No! In fact, many women that have slept with every man from here to Timbucktu may not be half as good in the sack as the sophisticated, conservatively dressed proper woman. Surprisingly many of the sluttiest women don't even like sex much less love it! Why would they? Many of these more promiscuous women have been on their backs since the ripe old age of twelve. At the same time while women are of the belief that a bad boy may be her only chance at rocking her world, she is incorrect. Many "bad boys" aren't as into sex as one might think. It's hard for a "bad boy" to rock any woman's world when he's overly intoxicated or high on blow. That being said, women might be surprised by the more straight laced conservative man. It's no secret that many of D.C.'s politicians are not immune to that of a sex scandal or two!

    Sex or stability? Must we make a choice? No. We don't have to make a choice. Lest us not forget that the best sex comes when two people are truly in love. As much as men hate to say it, they too admit that their best sex was with the women with whom they were in love. Even sluts and studs agree that wham bam thank you ma'am, is nothing as compared to making love. When making love with someone with whom we are in love, it's real and it's far better than that brooding bad boy, or plump lipped voluptuous bad girl. 

   Sex or stability? I say both. I say we can all have both if we are patient enough to allow it to happen. One never knows with whom they may fall in love with, and what may transpire. Personally I choose both great sex and stability. I choose to not live without one or the other. While great sex is a must it will not stand by me in difficult times, and while I do need someone whom I may depend upon, it will not be enough to keep me satisfied, but that's just me, or is it? I don't feel we should "settle", as it's been tried and tested. I am choosing BOTH sensational sex, and stability, and if it doesn't come my way, "I'd rather be single ... For now!
(C)Sean Bianca 2014

Sunday, July 13, 2014

I'd Rather Be Married.... Now !

            I'd rather be married...for now ! How many men and women would in fact rather be married for now than be single? I would bet, plenty. In fact I would not be surprised if a good majority of the married population would prefer to be married than go back to being single. As many people are saying "I'd rather be single...for now," are also saying, "I'd rather be married...for now", if not more!

        It sucks being single! There I said it. As much as I blog on, "I'd rather be single...for now", I personally do NOT relish being single. Due to my not loving the single life I stayed in a bad marriage FOUR years too long, until it was so bad, I had to leave. I loved being married. I just didn't love the man I was married to. That being said brings me to many marrieds that choose to be married...for now!

       Would I personally rather be married? Yes! I'm forty-six years old for Christ's sake! I'm over "dating". I'm over the "getting to know you", conversation. I'm sick of meeting new men. I'm sick of  meeting their friends,and wasting my life. I'm sick of spending time with people whom I later find out are complete basket cases, schmucks, liars, losers, or self centered assholes. Likewise, I'm sure single men over the age of forty are also tired of taking out shallow, using, inconsiderate, immature lushes and bimbos. My god, after forty we've had it with the "singles scene". Well at least most of us that have half a brain are done with the "singles scene".

     "I'd rather be married...for now", is what thousands of men and women are saying. They'd rather be married, than go back to trivial conversations at bars with men and women they'll most likely never see again, or for that matter even remember, due to their heavy intoxication! They'd rather be married than go home to an empty house every night. They'd rather be married than sleep alone. They'd rather be married than have meaningless sex with another drunk or slut. They'd rather be married and wake up to someone they've known for more than 24 hours. They'd rather be married and build a life with someone than spend a night, or month or two of their lives, to only begin again with someone new. It's true, I do believe a good lot of people are saying they'd rather be married, because being single is downright dreadful!

    I do believe that if a man or woman is in a marriage that while it may not be "perfect", is pretty "good", or decent, they should stay married. Heck, if a marriage is even mediocre at best I think they should stay married. I believe way too many people get divorced due to their thinking that the grass is greener somewhere else. In my opinion, unless a man or woman to whom one is married, is being verbally or physically abusive, cheating, using drugs, or abusing alcohol and or the children, one SHOULD stay in their marriage. Why leave a marriage that isn't broken? I say put more effort in your marriage, if it's not more exciting or satisfactory. Then again a marriage to anyone is not supposed to be a 24 hour playground, or party. I guess if one wants rockets, fireworks, and fun then one can be an eternal dater. Crazy chemistry doesn't last forever with anyone, but if that's all one desires then one can forever seek to have "honeymoon periods" for a month or two with their partner and move on to another. Of course good luck with that when you're eighty! 

     I'd rather be married...for now", sure I would, and I know a good many people are indeed saying that. Unfortunately for us that are still single, divorced or widowed we are far better off saying, "I'd rather be single...for now", than be with a complete ding dong, dweeb, lady lush, or twit! I'm happier than I've been in awhile saying I'd rather be single...for now". I'm happy because I have good friends, and interests with which I can occupy my time. I'm happy because I'm not with some knumknut that I am settling for as to not be alone, but I'm not completely satisfied either. I would like to meet someone with whom I can come home to, and with whom I can grow old. I do not wish to be found dead rotting some thirty days after I have croaked! I would like someone by my side at the end, but someone who truly care about me and whom I enjoyed spending quality time. I one hundred percent understand those who would rather be married...for now. In fact I hope a good many are married forever. I believe in the sanctity of marriage, in marriage between two people that truly like and love each other, and two people that have fun with one another. As for me I know at the moment I am far better off saying," I'd rather be single...for now!"
(c)Sean Bianca 2014
          

Friday, July 11, 2014

The Misconception Of "The One"!

 The one", the "one" that makes our hearts go pitter patter, the "one" that "gets" us, and we "get" them, the "one" with whom we have a "connection", and the "one" that is our soul mate till death do us part, the "one". Is there a "one"? Is there really just "one" person out there with whom we can fall in love, and have a life with? Is the whole concept of "the one", one we should follow or is it one we should flee? 

      As per a recent radio show featuring Matthew Hussey author of "Get The Guy" I was prompted to write this blog. Mr. Matthew Hussey brought up a very good point regarding "the one". What he said was if there is just "one" for everyone then does that mean regardless of how he or she treats us we stay with them due to the fact that we were once convinced that they were "the one"? Answer, yes. I think many of us, both men and women, do in fact stay with their partners no matter what, due to the fact that we are sure that they are our "one" and that there is NO ONE else!

      "The one", yes  I too have thought that there was "one" for everyone, and now I see just how insane a thought that is. With over 7.046 billion people in the world, the thought that we all have just "one" soul mate is rather ridiculous, and yet many of us do believe that we need to find our "one". Not only do many of us hope to find "the one", but no matter what when we do find "the one", we need to make it work. In fact we believe we MUST make it work, because remember we have only "one".

     The misconception of "the one", has led many men and women to great despair, including myself. It's true that a "connection" is hard to come by, but if we are truly honest we all have had more than "one" connection. We all have thought when a relationship went bust that we would never ever , ever again find another connection as strong as the last, and we were wrong. We all have bounced back, and again at some point found another connection, but again when we do, we think it could be our last chance at "the one".

     In believing in the whole "one" philosophy many of us have put up with more crap than anyone should. I've seen men disrespected, cheated on, and used, and yet these men stay in relationships all due to their belief that this bitch from holy hell is their "one". Likewise I've seen many women with whom men have abused, been unfaithful to, and been down right nasty to, that have remained in relationships because they had found "the one". I guess "the one" could be that of a Charles Manson, or Ted Bundy and women would still stay due to a "connection", and their thinking these men were "the one". Pretty ludicrous, don't you think?

    How ridiculous is it that so many of us have allowed ourselves to be treated less than because we truly believe that we have found "the one". Newsflash, if a man or woman treats their partner poorly then that man or woman is NOT "the one". Let me also add that if there is no other for us than a person who treats us poorly we are better off alone! Much better. Unfortunately many of us do not believe that we would be better off with no one than with someone who we believe is our "one" that treats us like crap. 

   Nonsense! I myself have jumped through hoops trying to make relationships work with men whom I thought to be "the one". What I accomplished was making myself miserable and the man I was with empowered.I now see the insanity in thinking that there is only "one", for me. Thank God, for Matthew Hussey for bringing this to light. I have killed myself, and put up with more lies, disrespectfulness, and mistreatment because I though that there was only, "one". I recently dated a man who informed me that I was not in the best shape, not firm enough, I was too fat, and not healthy. Bare in mind that I range between a size two and four, and am a tennis teaching professional. I put up with this, from a man some thirty pounds overweight. Why? The answer is simple, I didn't want to be single, and I thought we had a "connection". Upon this man being away on business for two weeks it dawned upon me that I was far happier without him in my life than in my life. I no longer have this man in my life, and I say good riddance! Nonetheless, I realized that yes we can be happier alone than with someone. That being said taught me that the relationships that I thought were with men that were "the one", in which I struggled putting up with such B.S., were just a big mistake. Those relationships were a big mistake, due to my thinking that these men were my "one" and that I had no other chance, thanks to the misconception of, "the one"!

     The misconception of "the one" is vast, and I think we all need to abandon the whole thought process that we only have' "one", soul mate. With over 7 billion people in the world I would bet that we all have quite a few soul mates, and with that knowledge I think we all can relax. We can be confident that we need not put up with not being treated well by someone with whom we ONCE believed were "the one", because we will come across another. It is true, it is better to be alone than with the wrong "one", and that's why I am still saying, "I'd rather be single...for now!
(c) Sean Bianca 2014

Sunday, June 22, 2014

It's YOUR Dick!

        As a young woman in my twenties and thirties, I had the mindset that all men were horny. My opinion of men was that all men from their teens on had a one track mind and that one track mind was "sex". Not only was I under the impression that all men thought about and wanted was "sex", but I also thought ALL men could get up and at em without any problems. I guess I just assumed that that's what a man's thing did. I thought all dicks were ready for action whenever needed or wanted. For that matter I also thought that men had times when their things sprang into performance mode when not wanted as well. Bottom line I thought all men with dicks and I believe that is all men, had dicks that could get up and go, I was wrong. I was very, very, very wrong.

       Who knew that a penis could not always get up? I didn't. Turns out I was clueless. I had no idea of men having dicks that didn't work. Personally I think I preferred it that way. Seriously, ignorance is bliss, and I rather liked thinking that men had this tool that could perform when needed. It was sort of the one amazing things that all men had going for them so I thought. I know Freud said that most women suffered from penis envy, and that couldn't be further from the truth. I have never had a desire to have a dick, but I did think that the dick was a rather fascinating part of the human anatomy, until now. 

     All good things must come to an end and such is true of my opinion of a man's dick. Apparently a man's dick does not always work properly. The stories from friends are quite depressing. I have heard tales of men not getting it up, getting it almost up, getting it up to only rapidly fall down, and getting it up but then not being able to close the deal. What the hell is going on? Who knew that dicks did not always work? I guess if a computer can crash, so can a dick, but what then? What then is apparently men are turning to blaming their significant other for their dick not being able to get up and perform. Yes, many men are blaming women for their failure to do the dirty deed. I'm sorry am I missing something? It's YOUR dick!

      How amusing that many men have taken to faulting women for their inability to have sex. It would seem to me that these men know of their problem and therefore lash out at whom they are with as to make them feel like it's their fault.A woman's fault that a man can't get their dick up? How is that? It's their dick, it's attached to them and they control it, so just how does a dick not becoming erect the woman's fault? 

    A wet noodle of a penis is NOT the woman's fault. Many men that are real men will be the first to admit that due to their excessive alcohol intake they have at times lost their erection. Whiskey Dick I believe is the proper term for a man in this predicament. Other men having issues, (I'll say) are quick to tell a woman that they are on meds that cause them to not be able to get it up, and good for them in being honest. However all men are not so kind, in fact a lot of men are less than kind, and women are starting to get quite upset. Unfortunately there are a lot more men out there that have limp dicks than one might think. According to one friend, it's an epidemic. It would seem that after the age of forty,  things start going downhill quite fast, literally!

      After my divorce I wanted a man that was attractive, intelligent, athletic, successful and nice. Never did I think that I needed to add a working dick to my list of what I hoped for in a man. The thought never ever even occurred to me. Great, another requirement to be added to my list of wants in a man, a working dick! As per a conversation with a friend over fifty I was quite disheartened. Apparently men over sixty are an utter disaster in the bedroom. As some men over sixty are unable to spring into action others take FOREVER to finish the deal, if ever. One has to feel for the woman that thinks she has found a man with whom she is compatible and crazy about, that is disappointed in the bedroom. Nonetheless what a waste of time and effort. I can not imagine spending time with a man to then find out that he is a putz in bed. Life is too short to spend months with someone that can't do it, but then I ask, why? I do believe Viagra and Cialis were invented for the dicks that can't do their thing. Thank God for modern medicine! Now if only God could make all men with limp dicks swallow their pride and get a prescription.I know if I were a man with a limp dick I would rather suck it up and take a pill or two than not be able to get it up!

    It's your Dick! Not hers, not anyone else , it's all yours. In my opinion men that can't do it should either withdraw from dating, take a pill, or work on their issues. Men should not ever blame a woman for their downfall. A woman can be understanding and patient, I'm sure, but a woman will not be if a man insults her in making his "issue" her fault. Frankly I'm terrified of being single after fifty. I'm finding it difficult enough after forty. I don't know how women can avoid being let down in bed. Perhaps over dinner women should casually put in conversation, "and how are things down there? Everything in good condition and working?" I just don't know. What I do know is women have had it with men that can't operate their dicks. Furthermore women have really had it with being blamed for men's sexual inadequacies, and that is why many women are walking away from these men and saying, "I'd rather be single...for now!
(c) Sean Bianca 2014 

      

   
      

Friday, June 20, 2014

Did You Defriend Me?

        "Did you defriend me from Facebook again?" A recent question texted to me from a man I dated. Yes a MAN I dated. Not a teenager, not a college freshman,not a kid, but a grown man. Not only was this man who texted me a MAN, but he was a forty-eight year old man at that. How amusing that a man in his forties is actually keeping track of his friends on Facebook. How ridiculous that a man at his age actually has the time to regularly tally his friends on Facebook. Perhaps this is the norm for grown men on Facebook. I just don't know, and frankly I don't really care. Then again I do care. I care in that I hope that the majority of grown men that participate on Facebook are not tallying their friends regularly. It is my belief that most men are above such nonsense!


      "Did you defriend me on Facebook again?" The answer to this man was, "YES", and any man with half a brain would not actually text a woman and question a woman on if she did indeed "defriend" him. It is in my opinion that a man should have some common sense and figure that there must be a reason as to why he had been "defriended"! Most men would not be so pompous as to ask a woman if he really were "defriended". Of course that is MOST men. Most men do not walk around thinking that they are God's gift to women that are clueless as to how to treat a woman! Most men are not pompous asses without reason. Most pompous asses are pompous with reason, but not this man. No this man was clearly quite surprised that he had been defriended by yours truly.

    I must admit I originally defriended this man when this man had initially pissed me off. After some time had passed I thought I could be the bigger person, and friend him again. After all, in my last conversation with this man I had told him that I was no longer interested in hanging out, and I thought I could at least be "Facebook friends". I guess I figured I'd throw him a carrot. I was wrong, oh so very, very wrong. Upon seeing this man's puss pop up periodically, I decided that there was a reason as to why I never cared to go out with this man again. The reason was quite simple. The man was a complete dipshit that did nothing, but tear me down as we dated. This man tore me down to the point I once asked him, "why do you want to date me if it appears that you don't seem to like anything about me?" Seriously, the man was a criticizing piece of crap whom I really cared never to see again. I realized when this man was gone for a couple of weeks that not only was I was happier not seeing him, but I was in a better mood, and I was also more sure of myself as well. I was reminded of the saying that one can be happier in being alone than in being with the wrong one. Upon this man's return I informed him that I was not interested in seeing him even as a friend. Why I felt obligated to re- friend  this man I am not quite sure, but ultimately I decided to defriend this man for good!

   "Did You defriend me?" "Yes,yes I did, and I am quite proud having done so. Never did I think a man of forty-eight years old would ask me if I defriended him. What is he in the seventh grade? Apparently so. Not only did I defriend this man, but I defriended others as well. Why? The answer is not complicated, it is  simple. I defriend people because it is my perogative, and I do not wish to have those people as Facebook friends. As for this man I once dated, I do not wish to view his postings, and he should be intelligent enough to know and not be surprised at his being defriended. When a woman says, " I do not want to hang out with you", she is saying that she is not interested in you. That all being said I have to wonder about this man's state of mind. Perhaps it's denial, or maybe it's stupidity. Whatever it is I thought this man to be somewhat of an ass for asking if he had been defriended and it further validated why I walked away and said, "I'd rather be single...for now!"
(c)Sean Bianca 2014

Friday, June 13, 2014

Be The "Right" One!



       When single, many of us tend to visit bookstores for guidance in how we may find and choose a partner. The choices are endless. There are books on how to meet the "right"one, how to marry "Mr. or Mrs. Right", how to avoid "Mr. or Mrs. Wrong", how to meet the "right one", and how to play the game, the dating game. If one read every self help book on the hows and whys of meeting the right one, one could drive themselves insane, probably never meeting the right one, and die alone. Morbid, but true, and I myself have at times have indeed bought into the whole "finding the right one" idea, and have failed miserably. The truth is men and women are wasting their time in looking for the "right one" when all one has to do is "be" the "right one"!

     Time and time again I have heard of people "finding themselves", and have laughed. I've also heard of men and women "working on themselves, and rolled my eyes, not knowing that those of whom are working on themselves and finding themselves were on the right path. The truth is I do believe that many of us adults do not really know themselves and what they want. I spoke to one man of about sixty-five that admitted to me that he still didn't know what he wanted and he better soon figure it out or he'd be dead! I think if many of us were brutally honest we too would have to admit that we'd never truly worked on ourselves and found want we truly wanted out of a partner and life. I think a lot of us get so caught up in the hustle and bustle of life and socializing that we neglect ourselves. I also think that we're so afraid of being alone that we find ourselves in the wrong relationships repeatedly. We're constantly looking for the perfect mate or the "right one" when all we have to do is be the "right one".

     Be the "right"one, what does it mean? My interpretation of being the "right one", is one being the best person that they can be. I believe if one is doing what they love, being with those they love, doing good, and being spiritual, the "right one" will eventually come along. Time and time again it has been said that one needs to love themselves before they can possibly love anyone else. In the past I thought if I loved myself it meant that I was to be a stuck up bitch. Wrong, loving oneself means being comfortable in one's own skin and being okay with being alone. To be blunt, if we can't love ourselves why should anyone else? If one is a kind and decent human being, one has every right to love themselves. On the other hand if one is not a good person they are right to loathe themselves and quite clearly should work on themselves as well. Unfortunately many who are not the pillars of society think all too highly of themselves and feel that they are perfect just the way they are. Those are the men and women that I'd like to take aside and say "get over yourself, you're not ALL that",and they'd probably laugh! I'm quite sure that those with inflated egos feel no work is needed and that they are the "right one".

    Being the "right" one, is really quite easy. How? It's simple, just being one's self and being by one's self is a start. I guess if we can't stand to be alone and with ourselves why the hell should anyone else? Being alone is not a sentence, it can be a blessing. One does not need to always be in a party to be happy and if one does I believe there's something wrong. I personally value my time alone. I may not be perfect, but I'm pretty good company if I do say myself. I've often looked like the village idiot in laughing, or smiling to myself while out and about. I guess you could say I do enjoy my own company and can entertain myself without the aid of another. I enjoy my solo walks on the beach and if I run into a man in a zebra printed banana hammock man thong,I am going to laugh and hard! I also enjoy my walks through town and my alone time at cafes. I do not always need to be with another person to be mentally stimulated, and many times I end up meeting people while alone whom I would not have met had I been in the company of another. Being alone is good and by being alone one sees that they do not need to search for the "right one", because they themselves are the "right" one.

     Be the "right" one and I believe the rest will come. I do believe that when one is the "right" one, one gets a terrific sense of peace, and others pick up on that and want to be around that. On the other hand if one is not happy with themselves others pick up on that as well. Why should anyone want to be with someone, if they cant stand themselves? Makes sense. In my opinion of which means nothing to many, I say "good bye" to finding the "right"one, because I am the "right" one and so is everyone else. I think if we stop focusing on seeking out Mr. or Mrs. "Right", and "be" Mr. or Mrs. "Right", everything will work out as it should, which is why for now, not forever, "I'd rather be single...for now!"
(c)Sean Bianca 2014

Thursday, June 5, 2014

Sweaty, Smelly, Single, And Seen!

   My mother always told me, "if you're single, be sure and always look your best!" Turns out my mother was right. I really hate that about mothers, they usually are always right. Well, almost always. Unfortunately in terms of always looking one's best when single, my mother was quite correct. Might I add that she should have also gone so far as to say "when single, or taken for that matter, ALWAYS smell sweet, as one never knows who they might run into....

   Sweaty,smelly, single and seen, what a combination if there ever was one. And one that I  personally have all too often been guilty of being. It never fails, look your absolute worst and it is guaranteed you will run into the man of your dreams, or in a man's case the woman of his dreams! Happens every time. I can be in an adorable sexy dress, hair as perfect as can be, make up done, perfume on, and I will not run into a single soul that I could give a hoot or two about. However, have me be au natural or worse, sweaty from the tennis court, golf course, or gym, and it will be inevitable that I will run into the hottest guy, or someone with whom I am somewhat taken. Never fails, sweaty, smelly and seen!

   Unfortunately I recently ran into someone whom I have been somewhat taken with, when I was au natural, sweaty, and smelly. What a treat I must have been. As I stood and chatted I wondered just how badly I smelled. It could not have been good. I know if my socks could have taken themselves to a washing machine they would have. I know my feet and although they are cute they are anything but, after about 6 hours of being on a tennis court. A guy once told me that my feet's odor could be used as a weapon. This man said, "seriously you could knock someone out with those things!" He wondered how such little toes and attractive feet were capable of such a stench. Well thankfully on this particular day my crush did not keel over due to my feet. Luckily I ran into this man at the tennis courts.That being the case, we were both quite smelly and sweaty. My hope was that this man would think the unpleasant odor was due to himself and not me. Me smell? Never! Yea, right. 

  As I conversed with this man with whom I've had a crush for some seven years, I hoped that he would think the distinct odor he smelled could not possibly be coming from "me"! Nonetheless the words of my mother of "always looking one's best when single", did come to mind. Then again it is said that a man or woman that is truly worth having is one that is attracted to our insides and not our outsides. Great concept but not generally not the case. I do believe that what attracts us all is first the outside, and second the inside. Hence why one should always get to really know a person prior to getting involved. I on more than one occasion have thought a man was all that from the outside and all the nothing on the inside. I am quite sure men have discovered the same. Many a time have I found myself attracted to someone with whom I have had zero interest in after a five or ten minute conversation. Of course if one is sweaty, smelly, and unsightly, one may never get the chance to partake in conversation with another. One does have to be approachable and  not smelling like that of a gym locker to be one that is approachable.

     Sweaty, smelly, and unsightly are all things that when single one should never ever be guilty of being. It is true, when single one must attempt to look human at all times. One must also always smell human as well. Smelling like something dead is not a turn on for anyone. In essence if one is single and does not look good, they should not leave their home, and if one is sweaty and smelly one should bathe themselves with a bottle of perfume. When single, timing is everything and one never knows when their Mr. or Mrs. Right could appear. Mommy was right when she said to always look good when out in public. Then again do we want someone that is so shallow as to walk away from us at our worst? Perhaps the man or woman that stays and chats and does not run from our smelliest and ugliest moments is the one we want. 

  I once had a man tell me upon running into me at a formal that if only he had known I could look that good he would have given me a call. This man knew me well, but had only seen me in tennis clothes and my hair in a pony tail. My thought was that I was glad he never did see me looking my best. I guess I kind of think that a man should have brains enough to know that a woman does not ALWAYS look smelly, and smell sweaty. A man should be intelligent enough to picture a woman in a dress and heels. Likewise a woman should be able to also see past a man in a pair of gym shorts and t-shirt. If only all men and women could be more cerebral in their choices of a mate. Unfortunately we live in a day and age where we are more visual than spiritual, and that is precisely the reason why many have walked away from a man or woman who is sweaty, and smelly and single, and said, "I'd rather be single...for now!

(c) Sean Bianca 2014