When one is single and is without options one's mind starts to wander. The mind wanders to the past and brings one to think, "I wonder what Joe Blow is doing", or "I wonder if Brock the jock ever settled down", and worse, "I wonder if Marty the life of the party ever grew up". More importantly one should ask why does one care what any men from twenty or thirty years ago are doing? Sadly, it's due to nothing better coming along and why not? Why not go back to the past and revisit the men of yesterday? Chances are if a person from the past is not in our present it could be for a good reason, as if we had wanted them in our present they would be there and likewise if they wanted us in their present we would be there as well. All in all the past should probably stay in the past, then again it could be the start of something big, or not. Admittedly I am guilty of revisiting the past. I've done this not once, not twice, but a few times. It had been twenty years and I came across an old male friend from my college days. While we never dated we had always had good fun in teasing one another and chatting at parties. I guess seeing this guy on Facebook gave me a sense of comfort as this guy knew me when I was a young girl, and this guy was familiar. After my divorce I was over meeting new uninteresting people and thought why not? As I had not let myself go, was still somewhat attractive and in shape I was not at all afraid of meeting up with an old friend and the result was not one of fiery passion and lust, but was a result of good clean fun.
We met for lunch and this old friend was not at all a disappointment. My longtime friend was still attractive, still fun and still the guy I had remembered him to be. We laughed about old times over drinks had fun remembering the old days, spoke of my marrying and divorcing as well as his not ever ever marrying. It was fun. It was familiar, and without hesitation we met up yet again only weeks later. Our next meeting was again enjoyable, and quite comfortable, but nothing ever came about our meeting, he went his way and I went mine until we met up again, much later on.
Turns out my old friend had gone off Facebook, and therefore our communication was no longer had, until one evening when again my mind wandered. Bored one evening and browsing Facebook my old friend suddenly showed up on my feed. I had not seen this old friend on Facebook and wondered, "did he finally settle down"? Why good lord he was a good looking personable guy he had to have finally bitten the bullet, and so I asked. I was told that no he had not yet gotten married and was very single as well. What to do? Two people that have known one another some 30 years, why of course we had to meet up yet again, and so we did.
My old friend was quite late, and while he was late he was oh so very apologetic. I didn't have the heart to tell this man that his being late wasn't half as disappointing as his hairdo, and attire. This man I had always thought of as oh so very handsome, showed up in baggy jeans, a sweatshirt and a Mohawk. A Mohawk! What was this man thinking? Clearly he wasn't. How I hid my distaste is forever a mystery, but I did. Then again as this man said. "I just got a Mohawk", I did reply, "why"? The answer was he number one, had never had a Mohawk and number two, felt better being half bald and looking like a punk rocker than being grey. While I understood the not having the ability to embrace being grey, I did not understand the embracing of partial baldness. After accepting the fact that my old friend had temporarily ruined himself I sat down to dine, and converse of the whys of his never marrying, and the whys of my poor choices in men. Why this man had never settled down was simple this man had never grown up. No this man was still living his college days, and he had never changed, and why should he? This man's life still revolved around his Alma mater's games, and friends from the past. As he spoke of the past I was told that everyone wanted to "bang me" back then, even him! Should I have been flattered? I wasn't quite sure. As I pondered whether having an entire baseball team, and football team banging me was to be flattering or not, I thought to myself, what on earth am I doing? There I sat a 48 year old woman listening to a 46 year old man discuss the banging of me as a nineteen year old. While the moment was comical, it was also very sad. It was sad for both of us involved. Sad for my friend as he was still very much living in the past, and sad for me, myself as I had grown, and moved on from the past, and yet I had regressed to my past. Then again there we were, two old friends, two people who had known one another for some thirty years, and were familiar. yet not so familiar in the end.
While my old friend needed to be told that the days of punk rock were long gone by, my friend was to be commended. My old friend insisted on paying for dinner and said that he was not twenty anymore, and he could spring for dinner. Funny enough, it was then that he showed his true class. While he may not have been mature in his conversation he showed more maturity in his taking the check than a good many men some years older than he. As the night was young we went on to bar hop, and I again knew this man was never to be more than a friend. I wanted intelligent conversation, and romance, and he wanted shots and sex. While it was unspoken, somehow we just "knew". We "knew" we were to be nothing more than "just old friends".