Sunday, September 11, 2016

40 Feeling Fabulous and Fed Up!

            Forty plus, feeling fabulous, and fed up.  Who wouldn't be fed up? I mean women over forty are supposed to be married, they are not supposed to be single! Unfortunately thousands of women like myself chose the wrong men to marry. Our choices were poor and therefore here we are, over 40 and single, whoo hoo! Whoo hoo was the day I got divorced, whoo hoo is not how I feel at present. No unfortunately I like many women over 40 I am fed up, and frankly thinking I'd rather be single, but then in truth I don't want to be single. 

     No one relishes being single, but after the age of forty dating is not a bed of roses. One's choices are shall we say rather limited. No longer do we have the pick of the litter as we once did at 25, no the litter is sparse. After forty a woman's choices are essentially men that no one else wants. While men could say the same of women I beg to differ as the men do still do the asking. That being said the men whom women over forty have to choose from are not anything special. They are the cheaters, the drunks, the drug addicts, the gamblers, the selfish forever bachelors, the old farts, and the young studs looking for a mother they'd like to ----. Most of these men are tremendously out of shape, arrogant, entitled, and annoying as hell, but they do have one thing on their side. What is that one thing? They are a living breathing man. In a world where women out number men just the fact that a man is breathing and living is a plus. 

    How sad that all men need be is alive to get a woman. The same sure as heck can not be said for women. Women over forty need much more than breathe as to attract a man. Seriously the things women do is just beyond what any man could possibly imagine. Men haven't a clue what women do to prepare for a date over forty. At twenty getting ready for a date was a process, after forty it's a mission. Thanks to my ex anal hubby I am the queen of getting ready quickly however it's an ordeal. It's an ordeal as there is just so much one has to do. No longer can one go bra-less in those cute backless tops, as gravity has taken it's toll. No we women have stick on pads that keep our once perky boobs in place. Trouble is if one dances and sweats one's tacky pads end up down by one's waist causing one to look as though they are tremendously deformed having not two boobs but four! How special! While losing one's boobs on the dance floor is disconcerting it's far less painful than pulling ones tacky boobs off their skin at the night's end. Oh the things we women do ....

    While tacky titties is one trick of the trade, long lustrous locks are another. If I had a dollar for every women over forty faking long lustrous locks, I'd be a very rich woman indeed. Guys, most women over forty do not have naturally gorgeous hair. Heck most women period do not have thick, soft gorgeous hair. The secret is out. What Hollywood has known for years, women over forty now know as well. We women over 40 can too have the knock dead gorgeous hair of Blake Lively, and Carrie Underwood with the help of hair extensions! Hair extensions are I believe the best thing to happen to women since botox. Fake hair could be better, however there's a catch. The catch is when one has a man that decides to put his fingers through ones hair, and why is it men ALWAYS have a need to touch a woman's hair? I don't know about other women, but ALWAYS without fail men insist on putting their fingers through my hair. Men I barely know have even touched my hair, and I swear it's always when I am wearing hair extensions. Once on the golf course a man felt a need to push my hair from my face, and of course I had bead extensions in my hair! I was panic stricken praying he would not feel the hard plastic beads in my head. On another occasion I had opted for tape extensions, much like the tacky titties, and those although better, were like wearing a hat 24/7. Of course I too had a man I barely knew grab my pony tail and I hoped he would not walk away with my hair as he tugged in jest. As extensions and I appeared not to agree I bid farewell to long lustrous locks! 

   Okay so maybe I didn't completely say good-bye to long locks, I cheated and it could have cost me dearly. Clip in hair! Another trick of trade, where one can temporarily have long gorgeous thick hair. Trouble is when a man has a desire to run his fingers through ones hair or grab ones hair in the heat of the moment. What happens is ones clip ins end up dangling from their real hair giving one the look of having the most uneven hair cut one has ever seen. It also gives one the appearance that their hair grew a whopping six inches within minutes! How do I know this to be true? As luck would have it I had a man grab my hair in a moment, and I went into cardiac arrest! What was I to do? Take my hair out of my head and stand there holding my hair? Or worse was I to allow him to again grab my hair and risk him possibly pulling my hair from my head to have him end up holding my hair? What I did was flip the hanging hair to the side as to look sexy. Oh I was sexy alright! Clip in hair hanging by three strands of hair holding on for dear life. never have I been so glad to get into my car and have a date end as I did that evening! While it was a great date, it was dreadful as well!

    While taping in hair and taping pads to ones breasts seem like a lot, it's really not. Men have NO CLUE what women over 40 do. I only do the minimum, and frankly the minimum is more than enough! Seriously, I know women who've had boob jobs, and butt jobs, nose jobs, tattoo eyebrows, tattoo eyeliner, lip injections, fat injections, capped teeth, lipo-suction, tummy tucks, face lifts, eye lifts, butt lifts and more! Exhausting really! While I myself have toyed with the thought of going under the knife I have not been. Suffice it to say, I prefer lotions and potions to lift, puff and pull my over forty face. While I am over forty, I feel pretty fabulous and frankly I want to be me. Some women would say I am dumb as to not do more. I say if a man does want more, than he can be shown the door, and as I always say, I'd rather be single...for now!
(c)Sean Bianca 2016


Thursday, March 31, 2016

Just Old Friends!

        When one is single and is without options one's mind starts to wander. The mind wanders to the past and brings one to think, "I wonder what Joe Blow is doing", or "I wonder if Brock the jock ever settled down", and worse, "I wonder if Marty the life of the party ever grew up". More importantly one should ask why does one care what any men from twenty or thirty years ago are doing? Sadly, it's due to nothing better coming along and why not? Why not go back to the past and revisit the men of yesterday? Chances are if a person from the past is not in our present it could be for a good reason, as if we had wanted them in our present they would be there and likewise if they wanted us in their present we would be there as well. All in all the past should probably stay in the past, then again it could be the start of something big, or not.    Admittedly I am guilty of revisiting the past. I've done this not once, not twice, but a few times. It had been twenty years and I came across an old male friend from my college days. While we never dated we had always had good fun in teasing one another and chatting at parties. I guess seeing this guy on Facebook gave me a sense of comfort as this guy knew me when I was a young girl, and this guy was familiar. After my divorce I was over meeting new uninteresting people and thought why not? As I had not let myself go, was still somewhat attractive and in shape I was not at all afraid of meeting up with an old friend and the result was not one of fiery passion and lust, but was a result of good clean fun. 
   We met for lunch and this old friend was not at all a disappointment. My longtime friend  was still attractive, still fun and still the guy I had remembered him to be. We laughed about old times over drinks had fun remembering the old days, spoke of my marrying and divorcing as well as his not ever ever marrying. It was fun. It was familiar, and without hesitation we met up yet again only weeks later. Our next meeting was again enjoyable, and quite comfortable, but nothing ever came about our meeting, he went his way and I went mine until we met up again, much later on.
     Turns out my old friend had gone off Facebook, and therefore our communication was no longer had, until one evening when again my mind wandered. Bored one evening and browsing Facebook my old friend suddenly showed up on my feed. I had not seen this old friend on Facebook and wondered, "did he finally settle down"? Why good lord he was a good looking personable guy he had to have finally bitten the bullet, and so I asked. I was told that no he had not yet gotten married and was very single as well. What to do? Two people that have known one another some 30 years, why of course we had to meet up yet again, and so we did.
     My old friend was quite late, and while he was late he was oh so very apologetic. I didn't have the heart to tell this man that his being late wasn't half as disappointing as his hairdo, and attire. This man I had always thought of as oh so very handsome, showed up in baggy jeans, a sweatshirt and a Mohawk. A Mohawk! What was this man thinking? Clearly he wasn't. How I hid my distaste is forever a mystery, but I did. Then again as this man said. "I just got a Mohawk", I did reply, "why"? The answer was he  number one, had never had a Mohawk and number two, felt better being half bald and looking like a punk rocker than being grey. While I understood the not having the ability to embrace being grey, I did not understand the embracing of partial baldness.  After accepting the fact that my old friend had temporarily ruined himself I sat down to dine, and converse of the whys of his never marrying, and the whys of my poor choices in men. Why this man had never settled down was simple this man had never grown up. No this man was still living his college days, and he had never changed, and why should he? This man's life still revolved around his Alma mater's games, and friends from the past. As he spoke of the past I was told that everyone wanted to "bang me" back then, even him!  Should I have been flattered? I wasn't quite sure. As I pondered whether having an entire baseball team, and football team banging me was to be flattering or not, I thought to myself, what on earth am I doing? There I sat a 48 year old woman listening to a 46 year old man discuss the banging of me as a nineteen year old. While the moment was comical, it was also very sad. It was sad for both of us involved. Sad for my friend as he was still very much living in the past, and sad for me, myself as I had grown, and moved on from the past, and yet I had regressed to my past. Then again there we were, two old friends, two people who had known one another for some thirty years, and were familiar. yet not so familiar in the end.
     While my old friend needed to be told that the days of punk rock were long gone by, my friend was to be commended. My old friend insisted on paying for dinner and said that he was not twenty anymore, and he could spring for dinner. Funny enough, it was then that he showed his true class. While he may not have been mature in his conversation he showed more maturity in his taking the check than a good many men some years older than he. As the night was young we went on to bar hop, and I again knew this man was never to be more than a friend. I wanted intelligent conversation, and romance, and he wanted shots and sex. While it was unspoken, somehow we just "knew". We "knew" we were to be nothing more than "just old friends". 

Wednesday, March 30, 2016

Immediate Gratification, Or Worth The Wait?

      Being single stinks, there I said it. I hate being single, but you know what? I hate being with the wrong person even more. Sadly, time and time again I've "settled" and in settling I've accomplished having someone, but prevented myself from meeting the right one! Granted there may never be a "right one, but I have had more than my fair share of the wrong ones to know that having no one is better than being with the wrong one,and I'd frankly rather be single than settle!
   Unfortunately for us singles meeting "Mr. Wrong", is far easier than meeting , "Mr. Right". Perhaps that is the reason for so many failed marriages, and relationships. We live in a world of immediate gratification, and when we want something we want it now! Not tomorrow, not next week, not next month, and certainly not next year, we want it now! The trouble is in wanting what we want, when we want, is what we can have now what we really want in the end? I tend to think not!
     I blame the computer age for our society's current problem with instant gratification. Today's society has become one of immediate gratification for what ever one's heart desires. In need of what's happening locally, nationwide, or worldwide? With the tap of one's smart phone one can have unlimited information within seconds. Stock quotes, weather, politics, or current affairs? One can be privy to all within moments. One may even shop whenever and wherever they may be, with their smart phone. Immediate satisfaction is ours with the tap of a finger. 
    While we may want Mr. or Mrs. Right now, the truth is if the right person is worth having we may have to wait, but will we? The trouble is we singles have been trained to have everything and anything NOW, and therefore we refuse to wait. As smart phones provide shopping, stocks, news, and weather at one's fingertips, they also have available men and women at one's fingertips as well. As computer dating sites were once the rage among singles now smart phone dating sites are all the rage. With Tinder and Bumble one can swipe left for no, and right for yes, as singles browse through numerous singles almost like an online shopping site. While convenient and fun, the shopping for shoes I find more successful than the shopping for men. While I personally have not given either a real chance it would seem from the dialogue from many of the men, that Tinder and Bumble should be a man's catalog for shopping for sex, but then it does provide immediate gratification for those so inclined.
      When I want a certain handbag I want it now, but then I do love the chase. I rather like the dreaming about it ,the admiring of it from afar, and the working hard to finally acquire it for my own. Why do I like this routine? I don't know, it's fun, it's a high, but then that high only gets higher the moment I walk into a store to purchase my latest obsession. That latest obsession is validated when it's in my possession and I know then that it was well worth the wait. I could have had a less expensive handbag, but it wouldn't have been the same, just the same as I could have just any man, but it won't be the same as "the man". We singles can have anyone right now, but we can't have the right person right now. As much as I do deplore not having a man by my side to dine, banter and spend time with, I know it's better to be single than waste precious time with the wrong person, and frankly I'd rather be single...for now!
(c)Sean Bianca 2016
I'd Rather Be Single...For Now!

Thursday, January 21, 2016

Men Never Fail To Disappoint!

      As a twenty something young woman I was disappointed in the lack of quality men, but somewhat accepting. As a twenty something I expected men to be immature. I also expected men in their twenties to have a one track mind as in, "sex, sex," and more "sex"! As a thirty something I expected men to be of more substance, and I was again disappointed. Now as a forty something I am no longer disappointed in the lack of quality and substance in men, but appalled. It appears most men are just complete ding dongs that clearly are ruled by their own little ding dongs.

    A man's brain is of no importance when it comes to men and affairs of the heart. I believe a man can be the most intelligent man on the planet and yet it is of no importance when it comes to how a man behaves with women. Furthermore a man's intelligence is of little or no importance when it comes to a man's choice of a partner. I once thought that once men entered adulthood, sex would yes be important to men, but not so important as to make poor decisions in choosing a mate or as to how he behaved with a woman. I was oh so wrong. Apparently most men never grow out of the thinking with their penis mindset, and so yet again I am disappointed in men.

   Recently I went out on a date with a forty something year old divorced man with two children. I was not overly attracted to this man, but thought I'd give him a chance and see if perhaps he would grow on me. Rule number one, "never ever let some one grow on you"! Apparently I myself have not learned as I know only all too well that one does not want a man to grow on her like a fungus. Nonetheless I gave it a shot. Never again will I be so kind as to give a man a chance and see if a spark could possibly appear. Never. I say never as this dodo expected to get laid by the date's end. Seriously? The first date? Seriously, at the age of forty something a man has this mindset? Yes, seriously.

   Date one, sex? Give me a flipping break! While not my style I could somewhat understand if the chemistry between this schmuck and I was just oh so strong that one could almost see fireworks above our heads, but such was not the case. The truth was there were no fireworks. Not a spark, nor a flicker. Nothing, and yet this man asked me if he could come back to my place. While appalled that his man could be so forward, I had to give him credit for being bold. With zero chemistry and my being somewhat distant, and cold this man actually asked if he could go back to my place? Unbelievable! What's even more unbelievable was this man's attitude towards me after I had turned him down. Why this little ding dong did a complete 360 with his personality. He went from flirtatious, fun, and all too handsy, to cold, serious, offish, and rude in a millisecond! It was actually quite, funny and amusing really. It was as if I had hit a switch. This man went from smiley and cutesy to stern and serious. I mean this dodo couldn't even fake his disappointment in his evening not turning out as he had planned. Not since my college days have I had a man actually turn on a dime and act like a little grump because he could not get laid. While as an adult I've had many men attempt to get into my pants, I've never had one, be one, so bold, and two, so rude.  

     Again I am disappointed by the male species, but not without hope that a few good men do still exist. Where they are, I haven't a clue, but I do believe they are out there. I once thought it to be location, but it is a fact that from here to Timbuktu , both men and woman have  difficulty in meeting "the one". While a good lot of men and women may well be fine with accepting mediocrity and having someone, as opposed to no one, I am not one of them. Unlike many of the men today I choose to think with my brain and my heart. My brain knows that if I settle for less I will not be available for the best. I know what I want and it's not a man that expects sex with a virtual stranger on date number one, and that's why I'm still walking away and saying, "I'd rather be single...for now!"
(C)Sean Bianca 2016

Sunday, January 10, 2016


    2016, this could be the year! This could well be the year for the man or woman of our dreams to step into our little lives, that is if one is single. As a new year is upon us I for one am quite happy with being single. I am happy as I have the opportunity to meet someone, while if I were unhappily married, or in a less than stellar relationship, I would not have such an opportunity. I for one am quite proud of my single status. I wear my single status on my sleeve with glee, as I am happy, joyous, and free, and I have options!

    I believe options are a wondrous thing, as the world is our oyster. That is the world can be our oyster if the world truly has a sane, somewhat successful, athletic man, with half a brain, a sense of humor, and manners. The jury is still out on whether or not a man such as that exists, but if he does, as a single he is an option. He is our option! 

    Options, we as singles have options. We singles really are quite lucky. Unfortunately we singles do not appreciate how lucky we truly are to be single. I for one know firsthand how fortunate I truly am to be single on this first day of the new year. I only wish I'd known that before marrying my ex-husband as I might never have married my ex. Prior to marrying my ex, I wanted only to be married. I was ignorant . I didn't know that being unhappily married to the wrong one could be hundred times more painful than not being married. I forgot that I had options. The trouble is as a single, it's easy to forget we have options and that we are lucky as the options are few and far between. 

    Far too few options! Isn't that the truth? The trouble is we singles, both men and women have too few options of which to choose from after the age of about thirty-five. I believe it's even fewer for a female than it is for a male. Men do the asking therefore I feel there are a whole lot more high quality women after the age of 35 than men. The truth is most good men, that a woman would be proud to call their husbands are married by the age of thirty-five and certainly by the age of forty. After 40 truly good men that are faithful, successful, compassionate, fun and fit remain married. Unfortunately a woman's options of good men are few and far between after forty as the truth is all of the good ones are taken!

     Now if all of the good men are taken after the age of forty how do we single women have options? We have options as women are far from saints, meaning that some of these good guys have married women not appreciative of their good men. That's right women cheat too! In fact the number of women cheating on their husbands has rapidly increased. As the women's movement has let women be more sexually liberated it has also caused a loss of respect for the sanctity of marriage, and these are the men we single and divorced women need to find, or hope find us! 

     If finding a divorced man who's been used, cheated on, and thrown away like yesterdays paper doesn't transpire, we have other options! We have the widower. The widower I happen to think is a single woman's best option. Why? Simple, this is a man that is not divorced due to his being a cheater, a schmuck, a liar, a gambler, nor is he a man that never matured and gotten married due to being a selfish, self centered, player. The widower may well be a woman's best option if she wants a man capable of being a truly good guy. This is a man that has been married, has been faithful, and has stuck by the same woman through the years. Ladies THIS is our man! The trick is finding him. It shouldn't be too hard as women die every day. Bless their little hearts, and may they rest in peace. As sick and twisted as I may sound, the fact is most widowers detest being alone and most widowers will marry again, which is precisely why I say a widower is quite possibly a woman's best option. How we find him, I'm not quite sure, but time is of the essence as these men do not stay on the single scene for long. That being said perhaps we singles should stalk our local funeral homes as the wives's long lost prep school friend...

    Options, while sparse we singles do have them, the trick is being patient and letting the best option find us. I don't have the answers, but I do know in 2007 I was a very unhappy married woman going through a divorce from a man whom I had "settled" an married. I wasted five years with a man due to my thinking I had no other options, and I was wrong. Ladies and gentlemen it's 2016, and we do have options, few that may be true, but it only takes one good option, just one, and therefore I am not settling and I am still saying, "I'd rather be single...for now!"
(c)Sean Bianca 2016


Saturday, December 5, 2015

Breaking Up Is Easy To Do!

 Dear John,
     We regret to inform you that your girlfriend__________ is breaking up with you. Although you had a good run and shared some great memories along the way, it's time to move on.
    While you're likely quite shocked and understandably saddened by this news, we know that you'll be back on your feet in no time.
                              The Break Up Shop
$10. Fee

       Breaking up is no longer hard to do as there's an app for that. Seriously the days of dragging an unwanted relationship out, are now over. No longer must men and women struggle with how and when to break up. No longer must men and women behave horribly thus so their significant other will eventually break up with them as they can not get up the nerve to do so themselves. No longer must one stay in a relationship as to avoid the painful break up process. Nope those days are now behind us thanks to the latest greatest internet site, and phone app, "The Break-Up Shop".

       "The Break-Up Shop" has conveniently come about to aid men and women in their breaking up with their significant others. One is able to choose from a catalog of break ups. For as little as ten dollars, one can have the "Break-Up Shop" terminate a relationship with a simple text, or email like the one above. If one prefers the idea of a letter that will run one $20.. Don't like the idea of a break up via text, email or by letter? Too impersonal? Well, for $29. one can have the "Break-Up Shop" break up with a soon to be ex with a more personal phone call. If having "The Break-Up Shop" just simply break up with a significant other seems too harsh, and if one is willing to not go out on the cheap one can send a bouquet of daisies along with their text, email, or letter. Daisies and a "break-up" will run one about $48..

     Is this how insensitive a society we've become? Are we so weak that we can no longer break up with someone ourselves? Apparently so. While blunt, insensitive, and childish, "The Break-Up Shop" does make breaking up painless and simple. No more heart wrenching good byes. No more begging for another chance. No more break up sex. No more second thoughts. No, once a break up is purchased and executed I am pretty sure the damage is done. The recipient will certainly get the hint that you are no longer into him or her, and that you have absolutely no character, heart, or backbone whatsoever. Breaking up via, "The Break-Up Shop" will conveniently get rid of your latest greatest, and there's more. If one feels guilty they are able to also purchase break-up gifts for their exes to soften the blow. Cookies, Netflix, wine glasses, and more! How thoughtful, along with breaking up with an ex love, one can make the ex even more depressed as they watch The Break-Up Shop's pick of "The Notebook". To add insult to injury the ex can be saddened as they have no one to share their wine with as to use the gift of wine glasses and one can get fat as they gorge themselves on the Break Up Shop's cookies. 

     Text, email, phone call via a third party? Really? Yes really. This is how pathetic a lot we've become. While completely impersonal and so very wrong I think I get it. How many times have we attempted to end a relationship to only be forced to stay in a relationship? How many times have we done the noble act of breaking up in person and felt so awful that we find ourselves still very much involved with the person? While I think using such a resource to break up with someone is cowardly, I think it's rather clever. In fact I wish I'd thought of it myself. As most men I know deplore breaking up, I am quite sure a good majority of the site's clients will be men. Then again I've always been dreadful at break-ups myself, and perhaps The Break-Up Shop's kind words would be far less hurtful than my own. I never have been a woman of words when having fallen out of love, and uttering the words, "I'd rather be single...for now!"
(c)Sean Bianca 2015

Thursday, November 5, 2015

Mean Girls!

"I've been a little depressed lately, work is slow, and with no longer dating just anyone and settling, I've found there are no men that I want", said the woman sitting in her work out clothes to her friend. "Well I don't know what it is, but I literally have men falling out of the sky at me", said the blond executive with her newly enlarged cantaloupe sized fake breasts." Seriously? Did this woman really say this to her somewhat down friend? Yes she did. As Jennifer Aniston would say, there's a bit of a sensitivity chip missing there. The depressed friend was "Miss Boobs La Rue's", friend that brought cookies to her during a break up, that surprised her with a bracelet as a pick me up! With friends like that who needs them? Why I think I've had nicer things said by enemies! All in all again my mother is proven right, women are not nice people and women can not be trusted!

      While in my lifetime I have had the good fortune to meet some very good women, they have been far and few between. While I read numerous sayings on women and how they must empower one another and band together, I can not help but think otherwise. I personally have had many women attempt to tear me down, Ive had women exclude me from outings with friends whom I've introduced others to, and I've had women go after my boyfriends. I even had one friend that I trusted to feed my dog and she failed to do so! All in all I have learned most girlfriends are a numb lot. 

    When I was in High School I encountered many mean girls. They were jealous. I was the number one tennis player for the team as a freshman. I was a hot shot, cool as hell, blond, blue eyed , athletic and dating the captain of the cross country team who was tall, black haired and handsome. I was hated, that is until girls actually got to know me. I was actually self conscious, some what shy and dumped by the Captain of the cross country team for not sleeping with him. I was nothing like what the mean girls thought I'd be like. In fact time and time again girls would say, "your'e so nice, I thought you were such a snob!" The fact was the mean girls didn't know me, and those who chose to get to know me were happy they did.

    The truth is, I can be a snob. I admit it, but a mean girl? Never. Never ever would I go after a woman's boyfriend, or husband. Heck, as a teen I wouldn't even date boys that I knew were liked by my friends. All a girl had to do, was say she thought some guy was cute and I thought it meant, "hands off"! Why I'll never know as girls certainly never did the same for me. No I was never a "mean girl". I've always been the "fun girl". When dating, I've attempted to include my girlfriends with my man if able.  When socializing I've always tried to introduce my women friends to one another. If a girlfriend has been in need I've tried to lift them up. All in all, I have been anything, but a "mean girl". Why would I want to be a "mean girl"? Life is too short to be around anyone that is mean, and perhaps that is why so many "mean girls" are single and divorced. If I were a man I know I'd take a look at how a woman treats her friends and I'd walk away and say, "I'd rather be single...for now!
(c)Sean Bianca 2015